10 Signs Your Boyfriend Is In Love with
by MissCar
Summary: Your Captain. How exactly do you tell if your boyfriend is falling in love with someone else? From personal experience, Lt. Uhura has come up with 10 signs to look for. Disintegrating S/U to become S/K with K&U S&U friendship
1. Sign 1: They Argue All the Time

**10 Signs Your Boyfriend Is In Love with Your Captain**

How exactly do you tell if your boyfriend is falling in love with someone else? From personal experience, Lt. Uhura has come up with 10 signs to look for.

Disintegrating S/U with developing or pre S/K but nothing overt

Rated T for sexual innuendo and some hard language.

This is my first Star Trek story. I was never into Star Trek until I saw the new interpretation. My initial thought after watching the new film was "Is the love triangle supposed to be Kirk and Spock fighting over Uhura or Uhura and Kirk fighting over Spock?"

Because of a case of writer's block on my other stories, I thought I would try my hand at doing something different.

**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters created by Gene Roddenberry and reinterpreted by J.J. Abrams. This story is for entertainment purposes only.

Due to a disability, I write these stories with the use of voice recognition software. So expect some very strange grammar mistakes. Feel free to point out thing I can't see in a PM.

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Sign Number One: They Argue All the Time

They argue all the time. They have been doing this from the beginning of this mission. The tension is obvious. People are actually betting on when her boyfriend will strangle the captain again. (Crew members are also making other wagers that she's not supposed to know about, but does anyway.)

How can a First Officer truly do his job if he is always fighting with the Captain? Apparently quite well considering the two had the highest efficiency rate in the entire fleet. They work so seamlessly together after only a few short months it seems as if they can read each other minds. Yet the moment the mission is over there at each other's Throats. At least this time it's only in the figurative sense. (If she hears Ensign Thompson say one more thing about erotic asphyxiation in relation to the "bridge incident", she is going to strangle Brittany herself and there won't be anything sexual about it.)

At first, she wondered why he even took this job. It was obvious that her boyfriend did not get along with Captain Kirk. Maybe it was because of her. In her heart, she likes to believe that was the reason. In her mind, she knows her theory is illogical at best. Her boyfriend tried to be the epitome of logic therefore he would not make any career decision based on romantic feelings in relation to her.

The little girl inside of her who believes in fairy tales wants to believe that he loves her so much that he would be willing to put up with a complete ass of a boss just to be near her. The Starfleet officer that she has become wonders after everything if he is even capable of loving her at all.

Before the destruction of Vulcan he never once said the words "I love you" to her. Now she wondered if it would be possible to ever hear the words from his lips. Between losing his mother and a lifetime of being conditioned to suppress all emotions, she wondered if he would be able to say those words to anyone. She wondered if he could express any feelings at all to anyone at this point. Even though she loved him as he is, she needed some outward indication that he cared. The way he kissed her did not count.

Yet there was one person that could get an emotional response from her boyfriend. She knew that person made him feel things that he wasn't ready to acknowledge. At first, she thought her boyfriend only felt hate in relation to his captain. Yet as time went on, she realized it was a completely different emotion. It was obvious to her that the captain triggered an emotional response in her overly logical boyfriend that no one else could, not even her.

At some point, she realizes that they were not actually arguing with each other. What she perceived as arguing was just a very passionate discussion. Her boyfriend's uses of the Vulcan equivalent of yelling was just how they talked things out. (Not that Vulcan's actually yell, instead her boyfriend just raised his voice slightly with an angry eyebrow raised in relation to their captain.) It was speaking with passion and as a communications expert she realized what that really meant. At that same moment, she became aware that she could never get that type of emotional response out of him.

When he is around her it's all about logic and doing what is most prudent. He never allows his emotions to show in front of her. He hasn't cried once since his mother died (or at the very least not in front of her). He never tells her that he loves her. The most she ever hears is "I find your company mentally stimulating."

When he is around the captain, his logic begins to slip a little. When she watches him with Kirk, she can see this passion in him that is absent when he's with her. On the surface that passion seems related to hate, but she knows better. There is an old saying on earth that states love and hate are two sides of the same coin.

She doesn't know what to do with this knowledge. She decides to do nothing and let the relationship between her and Spock stay as it is. If he does not realize what's going on she will not enlighten him. It's the only logical thing to do. Her boyfriend will appreciate her logical decision.

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Please let me know if I should continue.


	2. Sign 2: He rather do paperwork

Thank you to everyone who read or reviewed the first chapter. All words of encouragement are appreciated.

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters created by Gene Roddenberry and reinterpreted by J.J. Abrams.

One thing I want to mention is that some of the signs are happening simultaneously. Other signs will occur in sequence.

There is also a companion piece to this called _10 signs your captain is more than just attracted to your boyfriend__._ This one deals with the signs that Jim is in love with Spock.

**Sign number 2: He rather do paperwork with the Captain then spend his lunch with you.

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**When the mission first began months ago, she and Spock ate lunch together every time they had the same shift. It was their ritual. During this time her and her boyfriend would talk about what they were doing in regards to their various projects or other things going on. This is something that they have been doing sense before they were dating.

It's really not a two-way conversation anymore. He merely says the word "fascinating" passively at the appropriate moments as she does all the talking. She doesn't realize this until weeks later.

During the second week of the mission this begins to change. A certain captain sat with them on the pretense of needing to speak with her boyfriend about certain work related things. It wasn't exactly a pretense. There were certain things related to the operation of the ship that needed to be discussed right then. She just did not want to have her lunch interrupted by "shoptalk."

Her lunch break was one of the few times she didn't need to think about the translation of a treaty with planet Exe or what disaster will occur when they visit planet WI. She also did not want to watch her boyfriend hold himself back when Kirk deliberately tried to get him to react in some way.

Over the next three weeks the captain interrupted her boyfriend lunchtime 15 times. She's furious when she realizes that 12 of those times her boyfriend invited him to sit with them.

After three weeks of lunches where her boyfriend ignores her for the captain during their work related "arguments", she realizes that when Kirk deliberately tries to get a reaction out of her boyfriend he's actually flirting. (See sign one of her other reflections on the behaviors of her boyfriend and her captain.) After a few weeks of this she decided it was time to clue her boyfriend and to what was going on.

That evening she tries to explain this to her boyfriend but he **deliberately **misunderstands her. She knows it's delivered because he's the one who taught her how to translate Vulcan into standard. The man is a Xenolinguistics expert.

She decides to let it go because if she explains the flirting thing she's also going to have to explain what's really going on when he engages in an "argument" with their captain.

She decides to let it go assuming that the captain is not able to communicate with anybody without flirting or pissing them off. She knows better now. It was a testament to his skills that he was able to pull both off simultaneously with her boyfriend. (Other than the captain, she was the only one who knew that Kirk had successfully irritated him. Spock's voice raised one octave and his left eyebrow twitched for exactly 2.69 seconds.)

She realizes he's not really that annoyed anymore. She refuses to think about the fact that maybe her boyfriend enjoys the captain flirting with him.

A month later, after a first contact that goes somewhat badly they decide to stop pretending that they don't want to have lunch together. Her boyfriend and the captain are sitting together before she even gets to the table. The two are talking about something obviously not work related when she sits down. She wonders when they will stop with the pretense of the working lunch. Very little work actually gets done despite the PADD being present. 15 minutes later it's obvious to her that her boyfriend doesn't even remember that she sitting at their table.

Two weeks later she decides that if her boyfriend can do a "working lunch" so can she. She stopped sitting with him and the captain so that she can get to know those in her department better. She did not want anybody under her thinking that she only got her commission because she was with the first officer. She was the youngest chief communications officer ever and she had just as much to prove.

She discovers later that evening, when they walk off the bridge together he did not even realize she did not eat lunch with him that day. She had no idea such a thing was possible for him. This realization makes her very sad.

One day three weeks later after a weeklong away mission, her boyfriend and the captain did not even bother to come to the cafeteria. That night she asked him why they decided not to have lunch in the cafeteria. "After a week away we had a significant amount of paperwork that needed to be completed by 19:00 hours ship time. The only logical way we can complete the necessary paperwork on time was to work through lunch." Her boyfriend said this to her without any hint of emotion whatsoever. He didn't make eye contact with her or change the infliction of his voice at all.

At that moment she relies that the assumption that Vulcans cannot lie is completely false. It would be more accurate to say that you can't tell when a Vulcan lies to you. There are no outward appearances of deception. On their next shore leave she should take her boyfriend to a casino. He could make a small fortune playing poker.

Then she realized that maybe he's not lying to her but just to himself. Maybe he doesn't realize that he rather do "paperwork" with the captain than have lunch with her. Maybe he doesn't remember that before they started dating they came up with reasons to have "working lunches" just so they could spend time with each other. If he is unaware of this, she will not enlighten him. It is the logical thing to do. At least that's what she tells herself.

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Please let me know what you think.


	3. Sign 3: He Rather Play Chess

Thank you to everyone who reviewed or read the last chapter. Also thank you to everyone who has added this story to their alerts or favorites list.

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Sign Number Three: He Blows Off Your Date to Play Chess With the Captain.

She blames herself. Really, it was all her fault. She was the one who suggested that Kirk play chess with her boyfriend instead of stalling paperwork if he really wanted to try to be "friends" with Spock. How was she to know that he would take her suggestion seriously? Never mind, this is Jim Kirk she was talking about.

She assumed that a person as reckless as her captain could never play chess. At least she was partially right in that assumption. Jim Kirk did not play chess. How was she to know he never learned to play because of the game's association with his dead father? George Kirk was a master chess player before he died. Jim's mother band anything in the house that reminded her too much of her late husband including the game of chess. She found this sad fact out when Kirk and Spock played for the first time. (She hopes she never becomes the type of person that can't let go.)

The first time they played each other in one of the recrooms, it was downright hilarious. The game lasted exactly 1 minute and 53 seconds. The second game lasted four minutes and twenty nine seconds. The final game of the evening lasted a remarkable 9 minutes and 15 seconds. Spock's only comment was, "You are showing remarkable skills for somebody who has never played before."

The older crewmembers who were still a bit upset that they had a captain who was younger than them found this quite enjoyable. (This was actually a minority of the crew. Personally even though she thought Kirk was a complete ass she would admit he is a really good captain. Although, that may have something to do with the fact that he lets her do something other than relayed messages all day.)

She personally found the match enjoyable because she saw the man who was trying to steal her boyfriend get his ass kicked. The fact that the ass kicking was being done by said boyfriend was just a bonus.

Since the game went so badly, she assumed there would be no rematch. Although her boyfriend was normally an excellent teacher, when it came to chess he had no patients to teach. Back when she was first attracted to Spock, she tried to play against him to get his attention. That went badly. After their first game lasted a grand total of 3 minutes and 15 seconds, he recommended a nice computer program that she could play against to improve her skills. That was the last time she ever played chess against Spock. (She remembered Spock's then boyfriend watching from the sidelines laughing hysterically at the girl who was trying to take his boyfriend from him. Her grandmother always said "what goes around comes back around.")

She was expecting Spock to do the exact same thing this time around. Of course, he doesn't do that. He actually teaches Kirk how to play chess. This tells her that may be she was right the first time when she assumed the tension between the two was sexual in nature.

Three days later when she and Spock are supposed to be having a date night she watches Spock explain the history of every single piece in excruciating detail in the privacy of Spock's quarters. (She's positive she's invited just so they can prove to her that nothing is actually going on and she's being a completely illogical jealous girlfriend. By the end of the first night she knows her logic is sound even if her boyfriend is still in denial.)

After the tutorial, Kirk manages to stay in the game for 22 minutes and 14 seconds before Spock wins. At this point she is tired of watching from the sidelines and decides to play Kirk herself. He wins the game in 16 minutes and 22 seconds. Part of her mind wonders if this game is symbolic in some way.

Seven days later after a mission that left her completely drained, she wanted to do nothing more than to drink a real glass of wine and have "boyfriend time". (In the interest of keeping this reflection clean, she will not go into details about "boyfriend time." Let's just say it's quite fun and very stimulating. At least it was until she started wondering if Spock was thinking about Kirk at that crucial moment, but that deserves its own rant.)

The only good thing about the last mission was she was able to save the day because she could speak the native language without the aid of the universal translator. If she didn't force her way onto the away team her boyfriend and her captain would still be in prison. Due to insufficient information in the report sent to the ship by Starfleet they accidentally beamed down to a planet that was slightly technophobic and extremely xenophobic. They were all thrown into prison the moment the planet leaders saw five humans holding tricorders wandering around. (Even with the pointy ears, the leaders consider Spock human.)

Her plans to unwind with good wine and a hot boyfriend were dashed by a captain with a chess board. Actually it was her boyfriend that suggested they play chess. It was Kirk who invited her to watch the entire fiasco. She sat on her boyfriend's bed with that glass of real wine as she watched Spock explain chest strategy as if they were going into battle against a Klingon armada.

The night would have been so much more enjoyable if her boyfriend actually kicked Kirk's ass in the game. Although Spock still won, Kirk was improving greatly with each game. The first game lasted 46 minutes before the captain lost. The second game lasted 52 minutes. During the third game, they forgot they had an audience for a moment and almost started talking about something that was too classified for her to hear.

During that particular game she falls asleep and did not wake up until an hours later when Spock wakes her up after Jim sneaks back to his room through the connecting bathroom.

She decided to sleep in her own bed alone that night. (If he thinks he's getting any after spending 4 hours "not-flirting" with Jim he is out of his overly intelligent mine. She may be being mature about this whole situation, but she refuses to be that mature.)

Over the next three weeks, their evening boyfriend/girlfriend time was preempted five times for Spock and Jim chess matches. Again it was her boyfriend who was planning these matches during the time they should be together.

One of the only positive things to come out of this was she had a lot more time to study new languages. She usually sat on Spock's bed watching the two play as she drank a glass of wine and went through a computer program for the language of the planet they were visiting next.

She must be a masochist to sit there and watched the two play each other or more accurately flirt with each other with the use of chess pieces. She finds the whole situation frustrating but not for the reasons that one might expect. (At least once, every time they play chest together she has the urge to throw a pillow at Spock or Jim.) She is more frustrated by the fact that Spock is denying he has feelings for Kirk, then the fact that he has non-platonic feelings for the man. It would just be so much easier if her boyfriend (should she even be calling him that anymore) would confirm what she has been seeing for the last few months.

The day after the eighth time he blew off their "date night" to play chess with Jim she finally confronts him at breakfast. His response is, "You were the one who expressed distress regarding our constant arguing. I thought you would be pleased that we were taking steps to alleviate the tension between myself and the captain."

At that moment, she was torn between laughing hysterically and slapping him upside the head. Was he actually blaming her for his behavior? Was he truly that unaware of what was going on between him and the captain? Did he really believe that he and Jim were **only **forming a friendship? Then she remembered that it took him almost a year to catch on that she was interested in him as more than her instructor.

She did not want to explain what would truly be necessary for the two of them to alleviate their tension and why exactly this bothered her. (Honestly, it did not bother her as much as it should have and she was not sure why.)

However, she felt it was best to let him know what was really going on. His response to her accusations was, "I find the logic of your argument unsound." His tone was normal but his right eyebrow twitched for 1.2 seconds and he made a conscious effort not to look at her.

This is what her boyfriend did when he was lying to her by omission. He said her logic was unsound. He didn't say her argument was untrue. Nothing about her boyfriend's feelings for Jim was logical. Truth and logic were not synonymous with each other. The term logic should never be mentioned in association with anything involving Jim Kirk anyway.

After that she was too angry to continue eating breakfast with him. She departed so abruptly that she left the PADD she was working on at the table. 5 minutes later when she returned to get it she sees Kirk sitting in her seat. She decides to get the PADD later. It wouldn't be professional for her to throw a bagel at her boyfriend (?) in front of the entire crew.


	4. Sign 4:He Only Tells His Secrets to Jim

Thank you to everyone who read or reviewed the last chapter. There is a bit more angst in this chapter.

**Update: **Special thank you to the individual who pointed out my spelling mistake on Spock's father's name. I'm going to blame the Spell check for that one. I purposely went to Memory Alpha to get the correct spelling. Although my voice recognition software was most likely designed by a Trek Fan (the software has no problem recognizing the term Kobayashi Maru) I think the programmer for spell check prefers DreamWorks films.

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Sign Number Four: He Only Tells His Secrets to Jim.

Sometimes you do not notice something until it's too late. She always assumed her and Spock had great communication with each other in the pre Jim days. At the academy, he was her best friend who she just happened to be sleeping with. Back then, they use to tell each other everything and it was only after he started to like Jim that the lines of communication broke apart.

She will admit it to herself that she became jealous of the closeness between Jim and Spock even before she was aware it was more than friendship. She was envious of the way that they could yell at each other and still understand the other person. She hated the way they could have conversations with each other without saying a word. She never had that with Spock herself.

When she realized Jim and Spock were becoming more than just friends, she became more conscious of just how much her "boyfriend" was willing to share with "his James". Jim knew about aspects of Spock's childhood that she didn't. Until recently, she didn't know about the intensity of Spock's teasing by his peers for being "genetically impure". Up until a week ago, she didn't know the real reason why Spock joined Starfleet. He told her some half-truth about wanting to be different. She learns about his concern that his mom didn't know that he loved her when he told Jim about this during their most recent chess match. Actually all the things she learns about her boyfriend recently were gleaned from conversations he was having with Jim.

The greatest of these conversations was when Jim got Spock to talk about his first time. (Although she must confess, a chocolate martini or three was involved.) Contrary to what she was led to believe before it wasn't with her. Apparently, she was just his first time with a woman. She should have known better because first, he was too skilled that first time for a virgin. Second, when they first met he was dating the chest nerd.

She wasn't sure who was more shocked. Her mouth was on the floor because Spock shared anything that personal with anyone. (A few minutes later, she was somewhat upset at the fact that he didn't share this with her earlier.)

Jim actually knocked over the chessboard when Spock said his first time was with a guy named Jordan. (There goes her plan to keep Jim away by making him think Spock only liked girls.) Jim fell out of his chair when he realized that they actually slept with the same person. Kirk responded with, "You were the cold hearted emotionless ex boyfriend who left him for the pushy female student who kept throwing herself at him. He hated you for that." That got him the death glare because she did not throw herself at Spock. (At least that is what she told herself.)

Giving him the death glare was probably why he said the next thing. "You are the one who taught him how to do the thing with the tongue. It is always the quiet ones." This is the last thing Kirk said before he excused himself and disappeared in to the share a bathroom for 15 minutes. (She has a good idea what he is doing in their but won't say it out loud. She knew exactly what thing with the tongue he was referring to and she missed it greatly. Although there was no way, Spock was getting any if he continued looking at the captain's rear end. The look on Spock's face was another sign that her "boyfriend" loved his captain in a not platonic way.)

These recent incidents were enough to make her ask herself why Spock was willing to share these things with "his James" but not her. At this point, she was still trying to blame Jim for the lack of communication. She was trying to blame Jim for everything going wrong in their relationship. Everything was fine before Jim came along. However, she knew that was a lie.

Not only was Jim able to get Spock to confess to things that he normally kept quiet about he was able to get her to admit to things she never told Spock about before. For the first time she talked about her parents' divorce and her stepmom who was more of a mother to her and then the woman that gave birth to her. For the first time since their deaths over six months ago she shared antidotes about her friends who died during the battle of Vulcan. She even told Jim that he was the fifth "boyfriend" of Gaila she caught in their shared dorm room that week alone.

Part of her wish she could go back to that week before everything fell apart. She wished she could go back to that time when her friends were still alive and Spock still had a mom who lived on a planet that still existed. She wished she could go back to a time when their relationship was still healthy and they still talk to each other.

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Three days ago, the ship received a private communication from Spock's father. For the rest of the day Spock seemed to withdraw from everyone. (Even by Spock standards he was withdrawing from everyone.) He did not eat lunch with the captain that day. That told her immediately something was severely wrong. She expected him to tell her what was going on that night. He never came by her quarters. (He was coming by less and less lately anyway.) He did not eat breakfast with her or Jim the next morning. By lunch that afternoon, Spock was still avoiding both of them.

She was so worried this led to a very strange conversation between her and her rival/friend. (To see why she consider the guy trying to sleep with her boyfriend (?) a frienemy see part three of her dark reflection on her captain and the Vulcan he loves (?).)

"Whatever Sarek told him yesterday must have been bad. He is never this withdrawn. Did he tell you anything?" She was a little sad to acknowledge that he was more likely to know what was going on than her.

"He just said that his father called to discuss something with him and it wasn't of any importance." Jim responded as he took another drink of his coffee.

"You don't believe that?" She asked him quietly.

"Not at all. I will see if I can get him to tell me tonight. Do you mind not coming to tonight's chess game?" It was a sad state of affairs when they both realize that Spock was more likely to tell him what was going on than her.

They were both right. Spock told Jim everything that happen during their chess game. However, Jim would not tell her.

"It's nothing bad. It is just something he's not ready to tell you about." Yet he had no problem talking to James about it. He had no problem whatsoever telling Kirk his secrets.

That night she was tired of waiting for Spock to come to her and decided to contact the one person close to Spock that might actually provide her with some answers. (At the time she didn't think to use her clearance level to access the recording of Spock's conversation with his father. She would later regret not taking that approach.)

A couple of months ago at a diplomatic dinner, she discovered that Spock had a grandfather that he never told her about that he happen to be named after. The resemblance was uncanny. Her Spock looks like he was a younger version of Grandfather Spock. It was almost like he was a clone.

She was angry when she found out that her "boyfriend" kept the existence of his grandfather from her.

"I thought you told me your grandparents were dead. I thought Vulcans didn't lie." She said in anger after they left the formal dining area.

"I did not lie to you." He said to her in his normal expressionless way. The tone of his voice stayed steady and his face state still.

"What did your grandfather just appear out of nowhere? Do you have any other family members that you're not telling me about? Maybe you have a brother stashed away somewhere that you never told me about." Spock's body became completely rigid during her rant before he left her in the hallway without any response whatsoever. She still wasn't sure exactly what that meant.

Grandfather or Ambassador Spock served as the liaison between the new colony and the Federation. In this capacity, he contacted the ship on occasion to speak with his grandson or the captain. Usually they would talk to each other for a moment or two before she transferred the transmission to the appropriate area. She would ask him questions about Spock's childhood and for once she was provided with real answers. Again, she found out how much she did not know about her boyfriend.

She knew that Ambassador Spock would know what family news had made her boyfriend so upset. Her assumption was proven correct when she spoke with him. Apparently, the younger Spock's father was getting remarried and he was not happy. She didn't understand why Spock didn't tell her. He was now aware that she was the flower girl at her father second wedding. Ambassador Spock slipped up by saying Spock the junior was upset because his father was taking a wife instead of utilizing other means to deal with the upcoming situation.

That was when she forced Spock the senior to tell her what that situation was. He refused to tell her at first arguing that it was not spoken about two non-Vulcans unless they were directly involved. Then she pointed out the fact that she was dating his grandson and had a right to know. He was somewhat shocked by that statement but preceded to tell her the truth. That was when she was introduced to the concept of pon farr and the fact that her "boyfriend" was slightly less than married to some other woman named T'Pring up until her death six months ago.

She could accept the biological need to have sex or die better than she could accept the fact that her boyfriend of several years was engaged to another person for the majority of their relationship and never told her. She told Grandfather Spock that she didn't believe him. Unfortunately, she made the mistake of expressing her disbelief with the wrong question, "Why would Spock have a boyfriend when we first met if he was engaged to someone else?"

Apparently, Spock's grandfather didn't know about Jordan or the fact that Spock was bisexual. His reaction was to raise both eyebrows as high as possible. This was another manifestation of Vulcan shock. Personally, she was contemplating the statistical probability of her being able to kill her Vulcan "boyfriend".

She decided not to question why she was so upset about the former fiancé when she was for all intents purposes watching Spock fall in love with someone else passively. She was too angry to care at that point.

She used the code Spock gave her to enter into his cabin without even requesting entrance. It was a good thing he was off duty because this scene was going to happen now no matter where he was. At that moment, she wished they had an old fashion doors that she could slam. She needed to break something.

"Who the fuck is T'Pring?" At least that's what she wanted to say. She calmed down a little and the question came out as, "Who is T'Pring?" How she managed her voice to come out so calmly, she had no idea. She was too upset to use the correct tense. Spock was smart enough at that moment not to point that out to her.

"How did you become aware of her?" Spock asked her calmly as he placed his chess piece on the board. The tone of his voice gave away no distress.

"I just had the most interesting conversation with your grandfather. When were you going to tell me that you were bonded to someone? If she didn't die, were you going to wait until pon farr occur to tell me that you were leaving me for some other woman? I assume that was what you were planning to do because you never told me about your biological need to have sex or die. Having a biological need to mate is something most individuals discuss with their partner." Inside she was angry but she stayed cold on the outside. She would not let him see the reaction he was causing.

"How do you know about Pon Farr? It is something we do not speak to non-Vulcans about." Again, his demeanor showed no distress.

"Blame your grandfather. He actually thought I had a right to know since we were-I mean we are dating. Not that you told him about that. He didn't know about Jordan either. Were we all just your dirty little secrets until you took your proper Vulcan wife?"

That night for the first time, he told the truth about T'Pring. He became bonded to T'Pring at age seven. She became slightly calmer when she discovered it was an arranged marriage for political reasons. The bond was dissolved when he decided to join Starfleet. T'Pring did not want to be married to someone who was so rebellious and human like. Her anger became sadness when she came to the horrible realization that the communication between her and Spock broke down before James Kirk enter the picture. She wondered if they ever really talk to each other. The situation was made worse when she relies that Jim knew most of the stuff that they were talking about already. He did not look that surprised when he mentioned T'Pring's name. He was very surprised when she mention that Spock had a grandfather.

"You never told me you had a grandfather?" The captain asked Spock with a very surprised expression on his face.

"Now I feel less angry because you never told Jim that Ambassador Spock was your grandfather." she felt smug for a moment until she heard Jim's next confusing words.

"Why didn't you tell her?"

"The information was classified and I felt she didn't have a need to know."

"She is your girlfriend. She deserves to know that there is another you from an alternate dimension running around New Vulcan."

That is when she was let in on the biggest conspiracy in the Federation. The man she assumed to be Spock's grandfather was actually an older version of her "boyfriend" from a different reality. The crazy story was too much for her to take and she returned to her quarters to think.

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On the way back to her quarters that night she stop blaming all of their relationship problems on Spock falling in love with Kirk. The lack of trust and the communication difficulties have existed longer than she cares to admit. It was not all Spock's fault. She kept things inside just as much as he did especially in these last few months.

As she continued to meditate on the situation, she remembered a time when they really did communicate with each other. In the beginning of their relationship when he was still with Jordan and the only time they really hanged out was during their working lunches they talked all the time. They really talk to each other back then and at some point, he became her best friend. She misses that time more than anything else. Boyfriends come and go. She can accept that. However, if she is truly honest with herself what she treasured the most was their friendship.

Now she wonders if that's gone for good as well. She really does love what they had before they were lovers. She misses that friendship. She is well aware that the romantic relationship was disintegrating quickly. She wondered if things were too far gone to salvage a friendship out of this mess. She just can't lose another friend. She doesn't have that many left and she is just not ready to make new ones.

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The next night after realizing why she absolutely hated gamma shift, she receives another transmission from Grandfather Spock or rather the other Spock.

"I guess I really can't refer to you as Spock's grandfather anymore." She said looking at the screen. He was close enough that they could do a video conference.

"I assume you are now aware of my true identity?"

"Yes," was all she said because she wasn't sure if the transmission was encrypted or not.

"I assure you the transmission is encrypted."

"You know me too well for someone who has only spoke to me a few times. I should have known this was our second life time together. Were you and the other me together in the other reality?" It was a question that has been on her mine a lot recently. She did not have the time to hedge.

"You were a dear friend but it never went beyond that. Even though T'Pring and I were not very close, I did not want to betray my commitment to her. Apparently my counterpart did not have that problem." She was not that surprised to find out in the other dimension her and Spock were only friends. That made her decision to re-cultivate their friendship before dissolving the romantic relationship, seem like the most logical thing to do.

"The relationship was dissolved before he entered Starfleet. Jordan was just a reaction to the situation with his-your father being upset about the dissolved bond. You will have to get the details from him. Unfortunately he is probably too busy with Jim at the moment to talk to you." She was a little upset when she said this. Just because she accepted the end of her relationship with Spock, does not mean she can completely except him being in love with Jim.

"The more things that are different about this reality the more things seem the same." She wondered what he meant by that. Then she got it.

"What was your relationship with your Jim in the other time line?" She realized she was opening Pandora's Box at that moment, but didn't care. She needed to know. When she mentioned Jim's name, his eyes had the same look that her Spock had whenever he and Jim were around each other. But it was slightly different. There was this hint of sadness that tainted his expression.

"We had a friendship together that defined both of us." That's when she noticed this Spock made the same expression her Spock made when he was lying by omission. His voice adopted the same tone and his eyebrow moved in the exact same way.

"You're not telling me the entire truth. Were you and your Jim lovers?" That is obviously what he's keeping from her.

"It is not always best for someone to know their future."

"I think I have a right to know."

"Things are different in this timeline."

"They're not that different."

"Do you really want an answer to your question?"

It is one thing to suspect something but it is another thing to know it will happen with absolute certainty. Maybe it is best that she doesn't know for sure. For once, this was something she didn't want to hear from Spock even if it wasn't her Spock.

"No"


	5. Sign 5: Compatibility

Thank you to everyone who has read or reviewed this story. Also thank you to everyone who has put this story on alert or has added this story to your favorites.

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Sign Number Five: Compatibility

Shore leave is a wonderful thing. It is a time to sit back and reevaluate your life. In all honesty, when she started to realize that her "boyfriend" was falling in love with someone else she withdrew into her job. Now that she is away from the ship for a few days, she can see things for what they really are.

As much as she tried to deny it to herself, her relationship was Spock is over in reality if not in name. She came to this conclusion yesterday after witnessing what she is referring to as the "back rub incident". (For details on this incident and information on the other mating habits of her captain regarding his first officer, please see sign four of her other rant regarding this crazy situation.)

Instead of being angry that her captain made a very obvious pass at the man who was supposed to be her boyfriend she just laughed. Granted the situation was hilarious. However, if she was still in love with Spock shouldn't she be angry? That is when she realized she consciously stopped perceiving Spock as her boyfriend a long time ago.

As she was receiving a much-needed day of pampering at a local spa, she mentally went over all the reasons why her relationship with Spock was failing. Not all of them can be blamed on her "boyfriend" falling in love with James Kirk.

The most obvious is they don't talk to each other anymore. After the "Grandpa Spock" incident, she is aware that they stopped talking to each other about the time they started sleeping together. Good sex does not compensate for a complete lack of communication. She will admit that their relationship has been lacking this component for a very long time. He didn't talk to her about the death of his mother and she did not talk to him about the deaths of her three best friends.

Because Spock was her first relationship that lasted more than a few weeks, she really had nothing to compare their ability to communicate to each other too. She couldn't see how bad things were until she had the better communication between Spock and Kirk to compare it with. Their ability to talk to each other surpassed her ability to communicate with Spock by light years. At this point, she did an even want to try to cultivate that type of communication with him. She was an even sure it was possible between her and Spock.

* * *

The second reason that their relationship was falling apart was the sudden lack of public and private displays of physical affection. They were never the type of couple to make out in transporter rooms, except for that one time.

First, direct hand contact with someone of Vulcan ancestry is somewhat more sexual in nature than if the same contact occurred between two individuals of another Culture. That type of behavior would be inappropriate in public.

When she went to comfort him after the events involving his mother and the destruction of his planet she pulled him away to a private place before she initiated anything. (The transporter incident she considers a temporary lack of their normal professional behavior due to extenuating circumstances.)

Then there was the fact that he was an instructor at the academy when she was still a student for the majority of their relationship. Although by the time they were dating, Spock refused to allow her to be in any of his classes to prevent the illusion of favoritism; their relationship was still frowned upon. Although there are no rules against an instructor dating and adult student specifically, she didn't want to hear classmates insinuating that her "talented tongue" was the only reason why she received high marks and it had nothing to do with her verbal skills. Although those types of remarks were still made, they would've been worse if she was actually in Spock's class. (On a positive note, her ability to understand all three dialects of Romulan is directly related to the fact that Spock would not let her take his classes. One semester the only other language class she could take that fit into her schedule was Romulan. She did so well in that class that she decided to specialize in the language.)

Even though they usually never made overt gestures to each other in public, there was physical contact between the two of them. Although e would never think about giving her a massage in the middle of the bridge, (again see sign for of reflection on crazy captains who have crushes on Vulcan who can see straight through their crazy schemes.) However, there were some hand holding and gentle kisses that occurred in public.

That behavior ended about a week into the mission. She assumed they were doing this in the name of professionalism and the desired to stop certain nasty rumors from poisoning the minds of those who work under her. Only in hindsight does she realize the PDA stopped about the same time his feelings for the captain began.

She is well aware that Jim became quite uncomfortable every time she and Spock behaved in a way that indicated a romantic relationship. For example Jim almost went into complete shock during the first and only time Spock ever kissed her (the human way) in public while on duty. (Maybe if she wasn't so distracted by the thought of Spock dying she would have picked up on Kirk's jealousy. They say hindsight is 20/20.)

At the same time, the public displays of affection were disappearing so were the private ones. They stopped meeting up after shift probably by the end of the third or fourth month. She really tried to blame it all on Jim and spock's crush on him. She had too much self respect to sleep with a guy who was sneaking in Vulcan kisses on the bridge.

Before serving on the Enterprise together, he would on occasion discreetly give her Vulcan kisses in public. Yesterday on the bridge, Spock kisses the captain in the Vulcan way for times despite the "back rub incident". It wasn't the first time she's witnessed this behavior. The first time was when they started playing chess together. Actually, the first time it happened when they were playing chess. The fact that it happened didn't shock her. What she found shocking was Spock never informed Kirk of what he really just did.

She "accidentally" did the same thing early on in their acquaintance and suffered a 15-minute lecture on why you shouldn't make direct hand contact with a Vulcan. When she asked Spock why he didn't give Kirk the same lecture he made some excuse about needing to process all necessary paperwork before the beginning of his next shift. Although she never mentioned it again, that's when she started spending every night in her own bed.

* * *

The third reason why their relationship was falling apart was the lack of emotional expression between the two of them. She just couldn't succeed in getting a response out of Spock. No matter how dire the situation was, he never lost control. In the pre Jim days she could tell herself it was a product of Vulcan socialization. Although he was half-human, Spock was socialized not to express any of his emotions. She told herself that she was fine with this. The truth of the matter was she was never completely okay with this. When they touched and kissed, she felt something from him. She told herself that was enough, but that was a lie. She wanted more then what he could give her. When she discovered that he could express emotions just not for her, it hurt.

Recently she discovered due to the fact Jim always left his microphone on after doing captain logs, Spock expressed grief over the loss of his mother in a private conversation with Jim. She assumed he did this because of his feelings for Jim. He could never share that with her.

Previously she blamed Jim for the even more blatant emotional distance between her and Spock. During this time of reflection, she realized that she became just as emotionally distant. She hasn't been the same sense three of her friends and the majority of her graduating class die that the hands of one emotionally unstable Romulan. She tried to tell herself that the numbness started when she relies that her "boyfriend" was in love with someone else. It began the day Vulcan died and she just used Spock falling in love with James as an excuse.

If she wasn't so numb inside she would most likely be facing court martial for physically assaulting her captain if nothing else for some of the crazy stuff he does. If she were emotionally healthy, yesterday stunt on the bridge involving a certain captain trying to get a certain first officer to give him a back rub would have resulted in her throwing something at least. Instead, she let out a little laugh that in retrospect was probably the most emotion she has shown visibly in almost three months.

* * *

The fourth reason their relationship was crumbling, was they don't have the same goals. At the academy, they only talked about their career goals. Those were both quite compatible and they both manage to achieve those goals at quite a young age. They never talked about starting a family someday. They had one conversation about the fact that he could give her pregnant, despite being a hybrid thus requiring that they use protection every time. (In a weird twist, his sperm was actually only compatible with a human egg. Any other combination would require genetic engineering. TMI)

A few days after last week's incident they actually sat down and talk about everything calmly and rationally with Jim acting as mediator. At some point partially due to that particular biological imperative Spock wanted to get married eventually and she didn't. Spock wanted children and she didn't.

She could understand considering so few of his species remain he would need to participate in the repopulation efforts of his species. She just didn't want to help him despite the fact that her stepmom would love grandchildren.

She just couldn't see herself leaving her career behind or at the very least putting it on hold to raise a child planet side as any significant other stayed in space. This is of course the moment where Kirk points out every single regulation that allows for both of them to stay in space and raise a child. (Since he was six years old, Jim has been researching regulations that allow children to live with their parents in space.)

During this discussion, it comes out that Jim's personal goals are much more similar to Spock's than hers are. Oddly enough, she can see the two of them living the modified white picket fence dream in space. At the same time, she can't see herself and Spock being married/bonded with children. It's not the life she wants.

If anybody could figure out how to raise quarter Vulcan children in space and still command a starship it would be the two of them. Thanks to breakthroughs in genetic engineering and a willing surrogate mother, the two could have a family together someday.

* * *

The fifth reason why their relationship is falling apart is the fact that he is in love with Jim or at the very least falling in love with Jim. More importantly, he doesn't care about her the way he cares about Jim.

It's not that he doesn't care about her because she knows he does. For example, if she falls asleep while watching the chess games between him and Jim, he carries her back to her room without waking her up. When she hangs out with him and Kirk, he always replicates her favorite foods, even those that Jim is allergic to. He forces her to go the sickbay after away missions go wrong just as he does Jim when they refuses to. He did not assign her to active duty on the anniversary of her uncle's death.

The way he shows affection for her now is similar to the way she would show affection to her friends. It is not the same way he shows affection for Jim. As she looked at the signs already discussed in these reflections, she realized that they show her that he loves Jim as a lover and loves her as a friend.

She has been trying to understand why this does not bother her. Now she realizes she doesn't love him or at the very least as she does not love him as a lover. She loves him as a friend. She misses talking with him and hanging out like they did before they were dating. Although the sex was good (when they were still having it), she misses the other things more. She came to this conclusion as she thought about all the signs that she's notice so far that tell her that James has deeper feelings for Spock. He does things for Spock that she just cannot do. For example he can share himself with Spock and she just can't.

All of these things have been going on for a very long time but she ignored them. In isolation, they seemed like nothing. Recent experiences have taught her that things that seem small on their own can mean something entirely different when put with other information. On the micro level, most of these things don't seem to warrant breaking up. Everything but reason number five can be rationalized away if seen in isolation.

For example, she could interpret Spock's desire to have children as only a response to the diminish population of his species. Maybe if that was the only issue they could come to some sort of compromise later on. However, she has the additional information that Spock and Kirk are much more compatible with each other. She cannot ignore the fact that Jim and Spock would make better parents then her and Spock. She can't ignore the connection between the two of them that's so strong that a crazy Romulan and their own stupidity couldn't prevent it from forming.

The only logical conclusion is that her relationship with Spock must be terminated officially. She was reluctant to do this for many reasons. The major reason was she wasn't sure how to terminate the relationship in a way that doesn't result in domestic violence and a court martial.

She could go with a clean break. Considering they usually work around 75% of the same shifts that would be quite difficult without requesting a ship transfer. She does not want to move to another ship. She loves being on Enterprise. She loves her team and her position. She doubts any other captain will let her go on or even lead the away teams so much. She also doubted any other captain or commanding officer would trust her opinion so much. She enjoyed being consulted on various matters by her captain. She would lose that if she went to another ship.

Even though the romantic relationship with Spock is going to hell, their professional relationship is stronger than ever. She may not trust him with her heart but she trusts him with her life. Could there professional relationship exist without some other relationship being there? Could they remain friends after they were no longer lovers? More importantly, does he even want her friendship? In the back of her mind, she wonders if they're still space for her in his life in any capacity if he already has his James by his side. Maybe that's why she's so reluctant to end a relationship that has been reduced to name only

In addition, how exactly do you break up with someone who you care about, who you don't love, who is falling in love with someone else without realizing it? More importantly, how do you break up with someone who you will have to work with for the next 4 and ½ years? She could really use some of ice right now. Too bad all of her old friends are dead and her only new one is too close to the situation to give her any real insight.

The other issue is as soon as she breaks up with Spock she knows Jim is going to take her place. Even though she knows he is not the ass that she perceives him as, she is not sure she trusts Jim with Spock's heart. Oh well, that is another thing to think about during her facial.


	6. Sign 6: All The Illogical Things

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed or read this story.

Remember when I originally said there would be nothing overt. Jim and Spock had other plans and there is some sexual content in this chapter. Does it really count as overt, if the two parties involved are in complete denial about doing anything slightly sexual?

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Star Trek or any reincarnation of the property. I don't own any of the songs referenced in this chapter. I do own the fake artists that sing the songs in the 23rd century. Any references to actual famous people in the 20th and 21st century should be viewed in the same way as Neil Patrick Harris's performance in the Harold and Kumar films.

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Sign Number Six: All The Illogical Things He Does for Jim. (The Karaoke/Breakup Incident)

Jim Kirk has the natural ability to make people do things that they would never do under any normal circumstances. For example due to him and that work colleague that she will soon no longer be dating driving her absolutely crazy she consumed 4 cups of a tea designed to make her stop lying to herself.

Of course, it was not completely her fault or his. She was given the wrong name for the tea that took her right out of denial land. By consuming the truth tea, she spends her first two days of shore leave unconscious. She also came to the unpleasant conclusion that she needed to terminate her relationship with Spock as soon as possible. (To see more of her adventures in honesty land and find out why she's a lot more okay with Jim Kirk taking her place then before she got stoned on alien tea see sign five and six of her reflections. In the last two editions, she discusses captains who are in love with your soon to be ex boyfriend but will run away the moment you confront them with that information.)

As much as she would like to blame Jim Kirk for all of the crazy thing she does, she knows she can't. (Apparently there still a little bit of that truth tea in her system.) However, she can blame the illogical things that Spock does on Kirk.

For example, in the pre Jim days she could never get Spock to touch alcohol, let alone chocolate laced alcohol. Normally alcohol does not have any effect on Vulcans. However, due to being half-human Spock can get drunk on regular alcohol. It just takes twice as much. (She discovered this two weeks into the mission when Jim took Spock to a bar on the planet they were visiting to participate in the human morning ritual of getting drunk after the loss of a loved one.)

To a normal Vulcan chocolate has the same effect liquor does in humans. Again, because he's half human Spock needs twice as much chocolate to reach the same level of intoxication as his full Vulcan counterparts. Now if you just happen to mix the chocolate and alcohol together you have one toasted Spock. (She discovered this also that time Jim took Spock to get wasted at a bar.)

The problem with drinking alcohol or eating chocolate is it means a loss of control. When under the influence of the alcohol or chocolate things such as emotions cannot be repressed as easily. To someone who has been socialized his entire life to stay in control, letting go with a chemical aid seems illogical.

When they went out to restaurants, he would never order a glass of wine or a chocolate soufflé. On those rare occasions where she talked him in to going with her to a dance club, he would never touch anything remotely alcoholic. Actually, he would never stay at the club more than long enough to see that she met up with one of her other friends and would be safe for the evening. Don't even get her started about what happened the year she gave him chocolate body paint for Valentine's Day. There are just some memories that you want to repress.

However, Jim had no problem whatsoever getting Spock to consume a drink or eat a piece of chocolate. At first, she didn't think anything of Spock drinking hot chocolate or a glass of wine at diplomatic dinners or during recreational activities. She honestly just thought that Jim Kirk was so irritating that the only way Spock could deal with him was to consume copious amounts of alcohol or chocolate.

It wasn't until just a few weeks ago when Spock told Kirk about his first sexual experience under the influence of several chocolate martinis she realized why Spock was okay with consuming these things around Jim. It was because he felt comfortable losing control around him but he could never be that free with her.

Another example was last night at the restaurant they ate dinner at together. After the tea incident, Spock and Jim didn't trust her to be alone. The only reason why she was able to go back to the spa to figure out what happened was they did not know that Dr. McCoy discharged her from sickbay.

In the afternoon, she had Brittany as her babysitter. This was fine with her because she had someone to go shopping with. However, she spent dinner with her captain and his first officer. (Apparently Brittany told Kirk and Spock that they could be around her now without her blurting out the ugly truth about their feelings for each other.)

It was a pleasant dinner because she had the ability to lie again. It also helped that the food was not replicated. Things were going great and she felt like she was hanging out with two friends instead of her boyfriend and the guy he's in love with. Then dessert came.

"Why is it called a volcano cake? I seriously doubt this confection is made with anything that could come from that particular geological phenomenon." Spock said as he looked at the chocolate infused desert with the Vulcan equivalent of trepidation. In other words, he had one eyebrow slightly cocked and his lip was turned down 2.1 millimeters.

"It's called a volcano cake because it shaped like a volcano and the hot chocolate is supposed to be like lava." Jim said before he put a spoonful of the chocolate dessert in his mouth. He then proceeded to spend the next 5 minutes trying to get Spock to eat the desert. Finally, he succeeded by literally feeding Spock the chocolate cake. If Spock was not so caught up with Kirk, he would probably say something about how illogical and unhygienic it was to share the same spoon.

Apparently, the chocolate was a very high proof because Spock aloud Jim to do something in a public restaurant with children around that she was barely allowed to do with him in the privacy of one of their bedrooms. It didn't help that Spock had a chocolate martini and a mudslide already in his system

After feeding Spock the last byte of the volcano cake Jim notice a large amount of chocolate on Spock's middle and index fingers. Instead of giving Spock a napkin like any sane individual, Jim brought the digits up to his mouth and proceeded to lick the chocolate off in the most inappropriate way possible.

Of course, this was before he sucked both fingers into his mouth. She was personally praying that no one in the restaurant realized Spock was part Vulcan and figured out how obscene the scene in front of her really was. Jim Kirk was sucking her boyfriend off Vulcan style in the middle of a family restaurant.

This would have been the perfect time to breakup. Considering the way Spock was reacting they needed to break up immediately. She never got him to become this undone before in public. She could tell Spock was aroused. His pupils were dilated and those blue jeans, that Jim also talked him into wearing, did not hide certain things at all.

However, she did not throw her drink at the oblivious couple or start throwing punches. Instead, she breaks out laughing which brought Spock out of his Jim Kirk induced daze. It is just not right to breakup was someone in a family restaurant. Yes, she will admit she's an absolute cowered.

After they were brought back to their senses, the two men acted as if they didn't engage in an almost sexual act in front of her. She was so fed up with their denial that she was just about to ask their server if Chili's of Earth served truth tea. Then she decided to sneak it into their breakfast the next day.

* * *

At breakfast today, before they went to the paintball field she put her plan into action to get her boss and her soon to be ex boyfriend to confess their love for each other. Maybe if this happened first she wouldn't have to break up with Spock because he would break up with her. Unfortunately her plan was interrupted by a certain meddling doctor.

"Give me that," he said taking the tea bag from her hand. "I know you're tired of him messing with your boyfriend, but murder by anaphylactic shock is not the answer."

"I'm not trying to kill him. I'm just trying to get him and Spock to admit that their completely in love with each other." He started laughing at her as if she was crazy. Maybe she was.

"Unfortunately if that's the same tea you overdosed on earlier this week Jim will be unconscious halfway through the first drink. There's no way Jim is in love with the emotionless computer, anyway. You have nothing to worry about."

"Then why did he practically give Spock a Vulcan blow job in the middle of a family restaurant yesterday?" She said practically screaming at the doctor as she walked out of the room. Why we're all men so oblivious to what was going on.

* * *

She was honestly shocked that Kirk got Spock to play paintball. Actually, she was surprised that Kirk convinced Spock to Indulge in any type of recreational activity other than chess. So far Jim has successfully manage to get Spock to participate in movie night, poker night, and checkers night.

She was currently mad because she was forced to sit in the air conditioned observation area on doctor's orders. Apparently, Dr. McCoy thought she was still too weak to participate in such a strenuous activity. She personally thinks its revenge for her telling Dr. McCoy about what really happened at the restaurant yesterday.

Watching paint ball is nowhere near as much fun as playing. She personally wanted to shoot a certain captain in his favorite place with a paintball gun. He deserved it after what he did yesterday at the restaurant. Then after she was done with Kirk, she would turn the paintball gun on Spock. Break up by paintball seemed like a good idea but she would probably chicken out before firing the first shot anyway.

Team Kirk and Spock won the battle quite easily against Chekov, Sulu, Brittany and three members of the security team.

"Seriously if we give you a 3 to 1 advantage and you still lose, that tells me something is seriously wrong." Kirk said as they walked back to the transporter to take them to the hotel. "Mr. Spock, I think this is why so many members of the security team end up dead on away missions."

"You may be right, Jim."

She decided not to tell them the real reason they won was they were the perfect team. They can anticipate each other's moves without words. Besides when she points out the obvious to them even under the influence of the truth tea they still didn't believe her.

* * *

Of all the illogical things on shore leave that Spock partakes in, the most illogical of all was the ancient earth activity known as karaoke. On their last night on planet, they went to a theme restaurant called Century 21 Karaoke. The place specialized in late 20th century and early 21st century earth food and culture. As they walked into the restaurant they heard a vacationing Klingon butcher Dana Star's song "Baby One More Time." At lease it sounded like that song.

"Why is that woman singing a song that came out two years ago by a signer from Earth Colony II in a restaurant purely devoted to earth culture of the late 20th in early 21st century." She asked as their actual server took them to their table and handed them each PADD like device called an I phone that contained the menu and the song selections.

"Many modern songs are remakes of songs that have been around for centuries. That particular song has been remade over 26 times. Most people don't even remember the woman who sang the song originally. She was some earth girl who was best known for getting married to the wrong person and shaving her head when she went crazy.

Only a few artists from the 21st century are so popular that we still listened to the original recordings. Most prefer the remakes. That's why on your I phones/menu are biographies, lyrics, and videos of all the original artist that sung the songs in the 20th and 21st centuries. I will just let you play around with the menus. When you select your meal for the night just e-mail it and it will be brought out to you promptly." The woman said leaving them at the table.

Of course, everybody was too busy researching the origins of some of their favorite songs to order anything but drinks at first. She was sure Spock was having more fun researching than anything else. He loved learning about other cultures. He found it "fascinating".

"I can't believe American Idiot was actually a pop album before it became a rock opera. I just saw a production of it last night. The song _21 guns_ was not even on that album but the next. I love that song." Sulu said as he grabbed his Budweiser classic from the table. Of course here the bottle had the same label it would have had in the 21st century.

"Here's another interesting tidbit. High School Musical originally came out in the early 21st century as well." Brittany said to everyone else at the table. Apparently, Brittany was with her again because she was still on babysitting duty. She needed to figure out what Jim was using to make Brittany watch her so closely.

"How's that possible? The main female character is Wulcan." Chekov asked in surprise.

"The musical originally aired on some children's channel as a movie in 2006. There were several follow up movies before the franchise disappeared for over half a century."

"My daughter loves the entire series, even the original films from the 21st century. I think she has seen the latest version 20 times. She loves Joshua Efron. " Dr. McCoy said as he took another drink of his whiskey.

"So any way, about 10 years after first contact someone in San Francisco had the brilliant ideal to revive it as an opera/musical and replace sugary sweet overly brainy Gabriella with the emotionally repressed but beautiful T'briella. The play became this great tool to teach interplanetary acceptance and tolerance. The person who plays Troy in the latest version Joshua Efron is supposedly the great great great great great grandson of Zack Efron "the original Troy" and his first wife who was also in the original film. Who knows how true that is. They might just have the same last name."

"T'briella is not a Vulcan name." Spock said taking a drink of his mudslide. She was shocked that Spock was drinking something chocolate laced in front of everyone. Usually he would only do that around her and Kirk.

"It was just after first contact. It wasn't like anyone at the time was familiar enough to know that they were doing something that stupid." Brittany said taking a drink from her water.

* * *

An hour later after more alcohol and actual food was consumed several members of the group actually were brave or maybe drunk enough to go up on stage. Because she loved singing, she was the first one up on stage. She did a rendition of the song _Lovesick_ originally performed by a group called TLC. She couldn't believe that song was really 260 years old when she remembers listening to it in high school as perform by a group called Left Eye Forever.

She wondered if anybody noticed she changed all the pronouns to the masculine form and sung, "you left me for some _dick_" instead of "you left me for some chick." Considering the look Brittany was giving Spock and the fact that her captain was surprisingly trying to crawl under the table she was sure they got it. Thanks to that Vulcan mask she had no idea what Spock was thinking.

Brittany was next on the stage performing a song called "I loved you," She was familiar with it because an artist called Jade of Earth made a remake of it last year. Although she was sure that the 20th century version of the song was different from the contemporary version, she doubted there would be references to the academy or to a guy named Jim who is the subject's "captain friend". There were also tons of other references that made her sure Brittany was altering the lyrics. Fortunately or unfortunately, Spock ran to the restroom during this performance.

"I don't think those are the original lyrics." Jim whispered to her the moment Spock got up from their table.

"They're not." She said looking at the PADD like device with the lyrics on the screen."

"And you said you didn't have any friends. Raking your boyfriend over the coals is a friend like activity." Jim said taking another drink. Of course, nobody else notice the change in lyrics or her conversation with Jim. They were too busy being in shock over the identity of the original artist.

"I had no idea Will Smith was a musician. I just thought he won a couple of Oscars and made all those inaccurate alien films." Sulu said grabbing a 20th century appetizer called a mozzarella stick from the center of the table. Spock came back just in time for Chekov to claim Will Smith was from Russia.

After that, it was Kirk's turn to go up there and perform. Thank god most of the other people at the restaurant didn't recognize him because he was wearing civilian clothes. It also probably helped that to the casual observer Spock looked more like Jim's boyfriend then hers. Apparently most of the federation is under the impression that their heroes are only into getting the girl. She's pretty sure everybody assumes the crazy guy on stage just looks a lot like that guy who saved earth who has a boyfriend that looks like that other guy who saved earth.

Of course, Jim would sing a song that started out with the lyrics "I am the kind of guy/ Who lives life on the edge. The kind of guy you'd wonder "Is he messin with my head""

She and Brittany looked up the lyrics when it was obvious that Jim was changing them. The song was not as familiar as the others were because the most recent version of the song came out 20 years ago.

During a song called "Make U Love Me" originally perform by a man named Robin Thicke from an album called "Sex Therapy: The Experience" Jim changed all the instances of boyfriend to girlfriend. He also made direct eye contact with Spock during the entire song. Although it was probably more telling that he changed all the uses of the term mother to the term father.

"You do realize he's making a pass at your boyfriend?" Brittany whispers just low enough for only her to hear. (It will be hours later before she remembers that Vulcan hearing is superior to human hearing.)

"Yes, I know he's making a pass at my "boyfriend" but he doesn't. That's the problem." She mumbles under her breath for only Brittany to hear.

"At least he's in good company. Nobody else at this table sees what's going on." She isn't quite sure if Brittany is right. Considering both of Spock's eyebrows are raised very high and again those blue jeans do not hide certain reactions, she is sure Spock isn't that clueless, just in pure denial. Dr. McCoy takes another shot when Jim leaves the stage and finishes singing right in front of Spock. Sulu is too busy "fighting" with Chekov to be paying attention to any of it. She and Brittany are laughing too hard to point this out to them.

She and Brittany start laughing harder when Brittany points out another song on the same album called_ Rollercoasta_ that just scream Jim and Spock. Any song with lyrics like "Hate me in the morning/Sex me up at noon" is absolutely perfect for those two.

Now Chekov and Sulu were on stage singing a song from the second film of the original _High School Musical_ movies called _I Don't Dance_.

"I find it illogical that a song with very blatant homoerotic subtext ended up in a 21st century children's film. I was under the impression that dancing was a code word for sexual intercourse in earth English."

"It was. Then again, baseball was also used as a metaphor for sex." Jim said to Spock as soon as he finished choking on his drink.

"Even in the 21st century, people were uncomfortable about certain things. When things make humans uncomfortable they choose to ignore them instead of seeing what is really happening. For example, most people really thought the song was about dancing. They also completely ignore the fact that the two boys were wearing each other's shirts in the next scene," Brittany said to the group.

"Thank you for ruining a perfectly good children's film. I am never going to be able to watch this film with my daughter again even if my ex wife lets me see her again sometime this millennium." Dr. Mccoy said taking another drink.

"You really must have been blind not to see it. Even the guy raised on another planet picked up on the sexual innuendo." Brittany said laughing.

"I will never understand the human ability to not see what's truly going on." If she wasn't drinking her second Margarita of the night, she would make some snide remark about him lying to himself about Jim.

"It really is not as different now as we would like it to be. Starfleet didn't even have an openly gay captain until five years ago when Captain Jose Gonzalez came out the week after he received his commission. Before him most captain's came out the week after retirement." As Jim said this she wondered, how people would react if they found out the captain and first officer of the federation's flagship were bisexual? She knew that Captain Gonzalez did not exactly have the best coming out party. Even though people tried to act like everything was wonderful in 2258, prejudice still existed even if people denied it.

"Captain Gonzalez is a friend of the family. My uncle died saving his life when they were both station together. They were best friends at the academy. Neither one was planning on joining Starfleet until …" she cuts herself off, not wanting to refer to the ship that her captain's father died on. They were having too good of the time to bring up what happened.

"You can say the K word without me crying. I'm a big boy. I can take care of myself. It make sense that a lot of people joined Starfleet just because of my dad sacrifice. The same things happening right now." She knew that was true. Starfleet enrollment was up 250% currently, despite the mass casualties.

When Sulu and Chekov came back to the table that's when Kirk really started trying to get Spock to perform. She personally wished Jim luck in getting that to happen. All through college, she tried to get Spock on stage to perform with her but he wouldn't do it. Of course, she should know that Jim would be successful.

It only took him 30 minutes and another chocolate martini to get Spock on stage. (It probably didn't hurt that Jim started fondling Spock's hands in such a discreet way that only Brittany and her picked up on it.)

Spock decided to perform the song "Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely." Everybody knows this is a Backstreet Boys song without looking it up. 230 years after their last album the backstreet boys are still very popular in the federation. The thing is no one on earth will admit to actually still listening to their music.

Backstreet Boys songs from their over 25 albums were a very popular export to other planets. There is a remake of the song Spock is singing in Vulcan call "Show Me the Logic of Being Lonely". She knows the lyrics to _I Want It That Way_ in Klingon, Vulcan, and all three dialects of Romulan. Not that she will admit that she knows the songs or has every single one of their albums mislabeled on her personal PADD.

"Of course the Vulcan will sing a song about questioning the need to feel an emotion." Dr. Mccoy said as he downed another shot. Most people at the table agreed with that assessment.

"This song isn't about denial of emotions. According to the biography notes the song was about experiencing extreme loss and not having support from those around you." Brittany said reading information from the device.

"Why are you such a big Backstreet Boys fan?" The doctor ask roughly.

"Though I'm human, I'm not from earth. That means I have no problem admitting I like the Backstreet Boys or remakes of their music."

"The song is about losing a parent," Jim said quietly just to her. She and Jim understood what was really happening. He looked directly at her when he repeated the line "How can you be asking me to feel the things you never show."

His voice was extremely monotone compared to anybody else, but she could still feel the emotions. She could see it in his eyes that he was singing that line to her. His accusation was true. Spock sat back down to a table filled with shock people. So many were surprised to actually see him up there.

She got up on stage two more times once was to do _Legend of a Cowgirl_. Even though this song has been remade in the last five years most people don't get the references anymore. Although there was something enduring about a woman who was completely free and was her own person. Brittany and Jim did start laughing when she sings the line "speak to my ex fiancé" as she points at Spock.

After she was probably as wasted on alcohol as she was three days ago on the tea, she gets up on the stage and does _Almost Doesn't Count_. It was probably a mistake to sing any song with lyrics such as "almost made you love me" or "almost made you cry" when you are trying to figure out how to break up with a individual who doesn't love you or shows any emotion around you whatsoever. Considering that Jim was hiding in his seat again he could see the emotions on her face and here the tears in her voice.

It was also a mistake to step off stage right before singing the second chorus. She looked into Spock's eyes and was positive that he knew exactly what she was saying with the song. He grabbed her hand just as she sang the words "I can't keep loving you one foot outside the door."

He didn't need to hear the words to understand what she was feeling. Sometimes she forgets that her most likely now ex boyfriend was a touch telepath. However, she has never been more aware of the fact at this very moment.

Normally he would never access anybody's thoughts like this. By letting him grab her hand, she knew she was giving him permission. Maybe it was for the best because a part of her was too scared to tell him. She's been looking for any excuse possible over the last four days not to break up with him.

She let him feel everything that she is feeling. All the frustration and pain over the last few months she poured into him. She let him feel her grief for her friends. She let him feel her love for him mutate into a platonic love over the last six months. She let him feel how she knew they were completely wrong for each other. Most importantly she let him feel her acceptance of him falling in love with Jim. It's taken her a while but she has come to terms with it.

As soon as the song was done she ran to the bathroom. Brittany was right behind her. She wasn't crying but she wasn't really all right either. At least unlike she feared she knows he felt something in regards to the end of their relationship. He's going to be meditating for days to recover from what just happened.

"Are you okay?"

"Not really. I think I just broke up with my boyfriend telepathically in front of a restaurant filled with people."

"On the bright side it was telepathically. No one else has any idea what happened." When she returns to the table she realizes Brittany is right when Sulu, Chekov and Dr. McCoy are completely oblivious to the fact that her and Spock just broke up in front of everyone.

She ends up walking back to the hotel with her now ex boyfriend and they had the real post breakup talk. It probably help that he assures her that he would like to remain friends. When she brings up the fact that he's completely in love with Jim and allowed him to do something very inappropriate yesterday at the restaurant he excuses himself. Even though they're not together anymore he still lying to himself. This may take awhile.

* * *

**All songs were chosen for their lyrical content or for their ability to make me laugh.**

Songs used in this chapter in order of appearance:

_Baby One More Time_ Britney Spears

_21 guns Green Day_

_Lovesick _TLC

_I loved you_ Will Smith

_Make U Love Me_ Robin Thicke

_Rollercoasta_ Robin Thicke

_I Don't Dance_ HSM2 (Yes, the scene was that obvious in the film.)

"_Show Me The Meaning Of Being Lonely_" Backstreet Boys

_Legend of a Cowgirl_ Imani Coppola

_Almost Doesn't Count _Brandy


	7. Sign 7: Vulcans Do Not Get Jealous

Thank you to everyone who read or reviewed the last chapter. I appreciate all forms of encouragement.

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Sign Seven: Vulcans Do Not Get Jealous, But Spock Does

She was always told that Vulcans do not get jealous. Jealousy is an emotion and therefore it would be illogical to display any such emotion. Once upon a time she believed that to be the truth.

During her relationship with Spock he never displayed any signs of jealousy when some idiot hit on her at a bar or club. (Unless that idiot was Jim, however, that is a completely different set of issues. She's also pretty sure it was a completely different type of jealousy) He never said anything when some lost soul followed her around campus like a lost puppy. Spock was not irritated by the fact that every guy on the starship started hitting on her the moment it became public knowledge, a little over two weeks ago, that they were no longer together romantically.

As her friend he was concerned for her well being, but he did not raise an eyebrow in irritation. (To see why she's still actually friends with that guy who is subconsciously in love with her captain see signs seven of her other reflection on crazy captains who live in denial land.)

Like pretty much everything else, the "Vulcans do not get jealous" preconception when out the window the moment Jim and Spock met each other. Jim Kirk special skill is making you realize your preconceptions are completely false. (Now if only he could make himself realize his "just friends" preconception was completely false things would be wonderful.)

Before Jim, she could tell herself that Vulcan's do not get jealous and because Spock is a Vulcan he does not get jealous. Therefore that's why he does not use the Vulcan nerve pinch on every idiot who tries to pinch her ass. (Not that she needs him to protect her, contrary to what the security staff believes. She can kick their ass herself.)

After Jim, she has changed her view on the subject. Vulcan's may not display jealousy, but Spock does. More and more recently, she has realized that she needs to see Spock as an individual and not the sole representative of his entire species. When it comes to Jim, Spock acts like a 15 year old girl with a crush on the star basketball player. When Jim gives attention to anyone else, Spock acts like a jealous 15 year old who is about to beat down the head cheerleader.

Even when they were still together his jealousy was obvious. Spock became very uncomfortable every time Jim flirted with someone or someone flirted with him. By uncomfortable she meant he would look away or raise an eyebrow in irritation. This was code for "I am jealous of the attention that he is giving you" or "get the hell away from my Jim".

If Jim were to smile at a member of the crew in a way that could be perceived as flirting, Spock would raise one eyebrow 2.1 mm. This was Spock behavior for "I am irritated by the fact you are smiling for anyone other than me. Please cease and desist immediately."

If Jim laughed a little too long at someone's joked during a diplomatic dinner Spock would raise both eyebrows marginally and frowned slightly. This was Spock behavior for "I do not appreciate you showing any attention to someone else other than me. Please only show attention to me."

If Jim were to make direct hand contact with anyone Spock would raise both eyebrows as high as possible and give the person the Vulcan death glare. Actually she might as well call it the Spock death glare because she seriously doubted most Vulcans would show that much emotion in their eyes. You can distinguish this death glare from his normal glare because he clinches his hands slightly. This is Spock behavior for "Get the fuck off my Jim, before I rip all your appendages from your body with my bare hands."

Then there was the ultimate display of jealousy a few weeks ago before the breakup that almost led to a diplomatic incident. The whole thing was not Jim or Spock's fault. At least that is what she tries to tell herself so she doesn't kill them.

The person in charge of putting the briefing papers together regarding the planet they visited at the time forgot to include a small portion about the traditional greeting of the planet. On that planet, it was customary to grab the genitalia of a person when you met them for the first time. Apparently, this was a gesture of goodwill in their culture. This was the same as waving hello.

Unfortunately, nobody told Spock this. When the leader of the delegation tried to extend this greeting to Jim, Spock gave her the Vulcan nerve pinch. She was just glad she was not the translator on the away team that day. She did not find out about the whole mess until hours later when they were trying to explain to Admiral Pike why negotiations almost fell apart and they violated several Starfleet regulations by being on the planet together. It turned out they told Admiral Pike a very edited version of the truth.

After the breakup, Brittany finally tells her the entire story as she shows her the video file. It would be funny if it wasn't for the fact that Spock's actions almost derailed the peace treaty that they were sent to oversee. If it wasn't for Brittany's quick thinking, war would have broken out.

"So after Spock knocks the leader of one of the delegations unconscious, her security team drawled their weapons on us. Fortunately, I was able to convince everyone that Spock's reaction was caused by a perceived threat on his mate. They let the whole thing go after that. It actually helped negotiations because in both cultures those who are married are considered to be much wiser than those that are unmarried."

"The leaders had no problem whatsoever believing that they were married to each other?"

"You've seen those two together. They have acted like an old married couple since practically the beginning of the mission. It probably helped that the members of one of the delegations were very familiar with Vulcan anatomy and saw the two of them engage in a very heavy Vulcan petting session during the meal break. The best part is Jim and Spock had no idea whatsoever. I had a hard time not laughing the entire time."

She personally felt the fact that they had no idea what happened was the biggest problem of all. Even complete strangers see what's going on. For everyone's sanity she really needs to lock them in a closet at this point.

Two days later after finding out what really happened, she put in a recommendation that Brittany be promoted to the rank of lieutenant for single-handedly saving these particular negotiations. When Jim questioned her recommendation, she told Jim the entire crazy story. His only response was, "so that's why the leaders kept referring to Spock by my last name." Jim was currently trying to figure out a way to get Brittany that promotion without telling Admiral Pike the entire story.

* * *

The almost diplomatic incident was bad enough but what happened over the last three days was on its own level. Honestly, it takes a special kind of individual to be jealous of himself. After being in close proximity with several other Vulcans recently, it was obvious that Spock's jealousy was something unique to him. It was also obvious to everyone that Spock was jealous of Ambassador Spock. Even Brittany could see it and she did not know that Spock's grandfather was really himself from an alternate dimension.

Three days ago, they picked up the Vulcan delegation for transport to Babble with several other delegations for a major two-week conference. The original unofficial purpose of Enterprise picking up the Vulcan delegation was so ambassador Sarek could play matchmaker with his son.

He backed off the moment he realized that Jim and Spock were completely in love with each other. It was probably for the best considering the two aides of Vulcan ancestry that Sarek brought with him kept making nasty comments about Spock being of partial human ancestry. Jim's reaction to this is a rant unto itself.

Fortunately, not every Vulcan on the delegation is a prejudice isolationist prick or bitch. Spock's future Stepmom was very nice in a Vulcan way. It probably helped that she lived on earth for the last 10 years as a college professor teaching Vulcan studies at some of the top universities in Europe. Her story wasn't that unusual among the survivors of the Battle of Vulcan. 87% of all remaining Vulcan's were either away on travel or living off planet at the time of the planet's destruction. Spock was still avoiding her because no matter how "nice" she was, she was not his mom.

Yesterday during one of her conversations with "Grandpa Spock" she found out that Spock's future stepmom was the one delaying the marriage to give Spock time to adjust to her. "Grandpa Spock" also made a comment about her being more tolerable than his stepmom the first time around.

This led to a discussion about her stepmom. It turns out in the prime reality, her parents stayed happily married until their deaths. Then again in the prime dimension her uncle didn't die when she was a child sending her mom into a horrible depression that led to her doing things that completely wrecked her parents' marriage. Her dad refused to let her be raised by an alcoholic who cheated on him.

She also found out that her uncle just happened to be married to the guy who she thought was just his best friend in this reality. They still found each other in the prime reality, even if they didn't find their way to Starfleet. Spock prime was shocked to find out her uncle's husband in his dimension was the first openly gay captain in this dimension.

Because Captain Rodriguez never joined Starfleet in the prime reality there was not an openly gay or bisexual captain in Starfleet for another 20 years and that person wasn't the Jim from the prime reality. It turns out that nurture wins in the battle of nature vs. nurture. Where in there reality Jim Kirk would have no problem whatsoever being the grand marshal at a LGBT pride parade. The prime dimension Jim Kirk was the ultimate closet case from what she gathered. Then again in this dimension Spock would probably be standing right by Jim the entire time.

Her former boyfriend had no problems whatsoever with her hanging out with his other self. She liked being around this Spock because he wasn't a lovesick fool who is in complete denial. However, her Spock was furious in a very Spock way, that his other self was spending time with his Jim.

Before a very uncomfortable dinner the first night, Jim offer to show "Grandpa Spock" around the ship personally. When Spock over her the suggestion he raised both eyebrows 2.6 MM and utilize the Spock version of the scowl. This is Spock behavior for "I do not want you spending time in the company of my captain." The older Spock could read the sign almost as well as her and declined Jim's invitation.

Instead, Ensign Thompson showed him around the ship. Later on he would remark to her that he never met Brittany in the original timeline. Nyota explained to him why there was a strong chance that Brittany most likely did not exist in the original timeline. His only comment was, "I am pleased to learn that not all consequences of the time line being changed were negative in nature."

On the second day of the delegation being on the ship, Jim invited "Grandpa Spock" to see the bridge. This led to a 20 minute argument between captain and first officer that Brittany refer to as a "lover's Spat" about Starfleet regulations involving civilians on the bridge. The situation was defused when Brittany offered to take the ambassador to the language lab for the afternoon.

Later that same day the older Spock offer to play a game of chest with the captain. He rescinded his offer after Spock the younger, told him to back off in a very Spock way.

Today Spock and his other self got into a Vulcan style argument in the cafeteria. Because during a Vulcan style argument voices are not raise, no one else could tell that they were arguing because they were speaking in Vulcan. However, she and Brittany could understand everything. They were trying very hard not to laugh. This argument continued until the Spock who was completely in denial about being in love with Jim was shocked into silence by "Grandpa Spock's" next words.

"You do not need to be jealous of me young one. I do not intend to interfere with your relationship with your T'hy'la." With that Grandfather Spock join the rest of the delegation from New Vulcan. Brittany was still laughing when Spock made it to the table.

"You know it takes a very special person commander, to be jealous of their self." Before Spock could argue that Vulcans do not get jealous, they realized what Brittany just said. Within seconds, Spock and Jim were dragging Brittany to one of the classified briefing rooms. She was asked to tag along as Brittany supervisor and the only other person who was supposed to know about the true identity of "Grandpa Spock".

"Ensign Thompson how exactly do you know that piece of highly classified information?" Spock asked the moment the door closed behind them.

"Do you really expect me to spend so much time with the ambassador and not pick up on the fact that you and he have many of the same mannerisms? I'm also a train linguistics specialist. Two of my skills are identifying voices and speech patterns. Although he is significantly older than you are, your voice patterns are practically identical. Finally, I grew up on a starship. I'm an expert at finding out classified information. I also know by now not to tell anybody else what I know." After they dismiss Brittany from the room Jim sat down at the conference table.

"At least now I can tell Admiral Pike that she needs to become a lieutenant so we can raise her security clearance." Jim said in exasperation. "There are some days when I think they put her on the ship to punish me." Jim said as he put his head down on the table.

"Indeed."

She could let things end at that, but she just had to say the next thing under her breath. "You're the one who slept with her."

She blames Vulcan hearing for the massive argument that occurred next where Jim tried to explain that it happened years before he met Spock. She was out in the corridor before she could analyze his particular phrasing. There she saw Brittany connecting a PADD to the locking mechanism of the door.

"What are you doing?"

"Saving our sanity. I designed the program to automatically disengage if an emergency comes up, but they are staying in there until they stop acting like two year olds. Leaders from three of the delegations have already asked me and several of the other officers if our two most senior commanding officers are having marriage problems. Don't worry, this worked on my parents all the time."

Being her superior officer she should stop this from happening. However, as a woman who is about to strangle her two best friends because they're being idiots she decides to let Brittany lock them in the conference room for a few hours. Maybe they could work off just a bit of that tension.

* * *

A/N: One of the writers of the actual film said that the number of 10,000 that Spock gave during his monologue after the destruction of Vulcan, only refers to those who were evacuated from the planet. It would only seem logical that a lot of Vulcan's lived off planet or just happened to be lucky enough to be on vacation during the destruction. That is why I'm going with a significantly higher number than just 10,000.

I told everyone I was very new to Star Trek and I would need help occasionally. I do need some help with a name for Spock's future stepmom. I seriously doubt I can keep referring to her by a title. I didn't want to use the same person Sarek married after Amanda's death in the prime universe.


	8. Sign 8: Caring

Thank you to everybody who read or reviewed. Although nothing too blatant is going to happen because of the perspective, I'm wondering if we're starting to go into M territory. If you think I should raise the rating to M, let me know.

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Sign Eight: Protectiveness, Caring, and Emotional support from a Vulcan.

Spock has always been protective of those he cares about, even if carrying is an emotion. When they were together, he always walked her back from night classes to make sure she was safe. When she dragged him to clubs or parties against his will no matter how much he really wanted to he did not leave until she was in the care of a friend.

Thinking about it now a crowded dance club is not the best place for a touch telepath to be. It's impossible to be in that type of place without being touched. In addition, some crazy little girl would try to play with his ears every time.

After they broke up most of the stupid guys on the crew that kept hitting on her backed off once their commanding officer told them in a very Vulcan way to stop annoying her. He also may have been the one to reprimand that idiot who sent her a second dirty message. By reprimand, she means forcing the idiot to be Scotty special engineering helper for the rest of his time on enterprise.

She is even starting to think that Spock isn't telling her about his new physical relationship with Jim because he doesn't want to hurt her feelings. She knows they're physically together now even with the lack of confirmation. Seriously, Spock needs to remember not to bite in visible places

She is positive that they still don't realize how much they love each other. Maybe they think their friends with benefits, but she doesn't know this for sure because they won't tell her. Contrary to what they think, she will not fall apart just because Spock and Jim are now sleeping together.

He risked his life to save his mother even if he wasn't successful. Almost everybody but Jim and she will argue that Spock went down to a dying planet to save the cultural core of Vulcan civilization. Both she and Jim know that he risked his life to protect his mother. His failure to protect her in that instance has affected him deeper than anything else that occurred during those painful days.

She knows that Spock was very weary of His future stepmom T'Pay, because he was worried about his dad. Not that he would ever admit to such a thing. When Jim told Spock at their first chess game post Vulcan invasion that most children show they love their parents by trying to run off the perspective new partner, Spock said he did not understand human logic in this instance. She just laughed.

As soon as Jim managed to get himself on the very exclusive "people Spock cares about" list, Spock became very protective of Kirk. She could give dozens of examples where Spock put himself in danger to protect Jim.

The nerve pinch diplomatic incident is a prime example of jealous behavior, it is also a good example of protective behavior. From the footage she saw of the incident, the first thing Spock did was step in front of Jim when weapons were drawn.

When Jim tried to protect Spock's honored by punching out a certain aide to Ambassador Spock, Spock jumped right into the fight to keep Jim from getting his ass kicked by a guy three times stronger than him.

Spock also omitted certain facts when speaking to the Admiralty about the incident. Okay let's call it what it is, Spock lied to Admiral Pike to protect Jim.

She's also sure that he is lying about what happened in that conference room just as much as Jim was. Does Spock believe anybody but the severely delusional, thinks they were just discussing ship business in a locked conference room for an hour? There were so preoccupied in that room they didn't even realize that they were locked in. How did they manage to break a chair, if they were just discussing important matters pertaining to the ship? She's mentally rolling her eyes just thinking about it.

She is now aware that it would severely damage Jim's reputation if it became public knowledge that they had sex in one of its many forms in a classified conference room when they were supposed to be on duty.

Over the last 10 months, Jim has been doing a lot to rehabilitate his image as the ship slut. Most people on the ship are not familiar enough with Starfleet regulations to know that it's perfectly acceptable for Jim and Spock to be in a relationship. Sometimes the perception of wrongdoing is worse than the real thing. Spock would not do anything that would undermine Jim's command if it could be helped. Public knowledge of such an incident could undermine Jim's command.

She discovered another example of Spock's protectiveness just a few days ago. Spock was the one who had Brittany destroy the surveillance footage of Jim punching Schreck in the officers' lounge, not Jim as she originally suspected.

In exchange for not reporting her childish prank of locking him and Jim in the conference room, he asked her to destroy the footage before transmission to Starfleet so he could not be traced to the disappearance. Of course, somehow Starfleet found out about the whole thing anyway. (To see what happened during the most uncomfortable conversation she has ever witnessed with Admiral Pike, see her other reflection on captains and first officers who are in love but are to delusional to admit it to themselves, let alone Starfleet.)

Despite Starfleet not having any evidence of what happened during what Jim is referring to as the "invasion of the Vulcans" no one got away with what happen. The first person punished was Brittany, who was transferred to another ship less than 24 hours after the meeting with Admiral Pike. She will not go in to Jim and Spock's punishment right now because that deserves its own special rant.

Anybody on Enterprise would tell you that being transferred to a different assignment is a punishment even if a promotion was involved. Due to a shortage of qualified people, the crew of Enterprise has been susceptible to transfers. No one is happy about these transfers.

The fact that Brittany was transferred to the USS OBAMA cemented the idea that it was an actual punishment. You cannot even serve on a ship under the command of your parents without half a dozen waivers being signed. It was really not an issue until recently, but with so much of the fleet decimated after the Battle of Vulcan mandatory retirement ages were being thrown out the window.

She was well aware that it was a punishment even if others did not.

"You think they would have thought of something less cruel to do to her. Then again they transferred out 10% of my crew in the last week. " Jim said to her one day in the officer's dining lounge as they were eating lunch together. Someone did a really good job of putting the room back together again.

"I hardly think getting promoted is a punishment." Spock pointed out without even raising an eyebrow. She personally thinks Spock is just happy a certain ex girlfriend is gone. She caught him almost smiling for 1.2 seconds when he saw the transfer orders.

"It is when you have to serve under a woman who treats you like a deficient two year old. Captain Evelyn Thompson is not a nice person, even if she is a good captain. She hates her children because they can't be perfect enough. She sees them as props to advance her career and not as children. You don't act out like that when you have a happy childhood. If I ever have kids, I never want them the feel like they cannot be good enough." She knows from a lot of conversations in personal experience that there was more going on here than she was aware of, but she did and ask questions.

"I think my worst nightmare would be to have to work under my mother. Actually that would be my second worst fear. My worst fear, would be that they would transfer my bridge crew mid mission. Due to the command shortage I wouldn't be surprised if they try to give Spock his own ship eventually."

"Due to the fact that you out rank your mother, I seriously doubt that would ever be a problem." She could see Spock squeezing his hand a little under the table as he said this.

Honestly, did they really think she did not see these things? She wasn't like half the crew who were in denial about their relationship. People who were just friends do not act like these two. Then again maybe they're ok with her knowing this but not everyone else. She didn't know, because they wouldn't tell her.

"I don't think my actual rank would matter much to her. She still sees me as that complete fuck up who can never measure up to the ghost of my father. All she sees is his ghost. I could become an admiral and she wouldn't care. She could not even be bothered to call me after we all saved earth. She probably didn't care because she was off planet at the time. Let's just hope we never have the displeasure of stopping at Starbase 26." Picking up Jim's discomfort Spock quickly change the subject. Crazy moms who severely emotionally damage their children were not mentioned for the rest of the meal.

* * *

At the time, she was too busy focusing on his angry rant against his mother to pick up on the other thing he was worried about. She knows that Jim didn't have a very happy childhood. Everybody he cared about left him behind physically or emotionally. Even his brother ran away eventually. It was obvious that the possibility of his friends such as her or Dr. McCoy getting transfer to another ship before the end of the mission scared him. However, she knew what he was most afraid of was losing Spock. Unfortunately, it was highly probable.

Under normal circumstances, Spock would be able to serve out his full five years as Jim's first officer without the threat of transfer. The problem was there is a shortage of command officers thanks to a certain psychotic Romulan.

She may have over heard a recent conversation where Spock was offered his own ship. She may have also over heard Spock tell Starfleet under no circumstances whatsoever was he leaving Enterprise. Fortunately this time it wasn't an order. She hoped they came out of denial soon, because if this shortage gets worse, there won't be a choice anymore. It seems like the only thing that is going to keep Spock on the ship is tandem assignments for married couples. She wasn't sure at this point they really could function independently anymore.

* * *

A few weeks later, it seemed that one of Jim's worst nightmares was going to come true and it was not Spock being transferred to another ship. After a diplomatic mission that she was positive was Jim and Spock's real punishment for beating up an ambassador's aid the ship sustained a lot of damage in battle. Fortunately they were only a few casualties. They were ordered to Starbase 26 for repairs.

She was working on the bridge when the orders came through. It was the first time in a long time that she felt uncomfortable delivering orders. Her body tensed up as soon as she heard Starbase 26. She was sure the only person who could see it was Spock.

She gave the orders out as neutrally as possible. Only she and Spock saw the flash of pain in Jim's eyes as she said where they were going. It was enough to make her want to leave her station and hugged him. She wouldn't do that but Spock made some excuse to go over to Jim to sneak a Vulcan kiss during the middle of shift.

It wasn't that unusual for the two to make "accidental" hand contact during a shift but this was the first time it was so blatant. Even before the official breakup during really boring shifts when they were all together, to keep herself alert she would keep track of how many times their hands accidentally brushed during a shift. The record was 106 times during the first shift after the conference room incident. If they wanted her to believe that they weren't sleeping together they seriously needed to stop touching.

However, she knew that Spock would not make such a bold gesture unless Jim really needed the comfort.

Later after shift, she asked him why he initiated a Vulcan kiss with Jim in the middle a shift. Instead of answering, he asked her how her department was doing after the recent transfer of several of her staff to other ships. She just rolled her eyes, answered his question, and then asked him again why he kissed Jim Vulcan style on the bridge. He suddenly had to meet Jim in his quarters to modify schedules for the next two weeks while they were undergoing repairs.

She let him go, but not without making some snide comment about him using "modifying schedules" as a euphemism for sex. He just continued on to Jim's quarters without response.

This avoidance was not helping anybody. Avoiding your problems do not make your problems go away, it just means the situation is worse when you finally have to deal with what you have been avoiding for so long.

This was the case when Jim finally came face to face with his mother for the first time since he brought a boyfriend home during his first year at the academy.

They manage to avoid Lieutenant Kirk for their first four days of their stay on Starbase 26. Later, she discovered this was only because Spock micromanage Jim schedule in an effort to guarantee that they would never run into Jim's mom. From the dark stories of Jim's childhood that she and Spock had heard over the last few months they knew that keeping Jim away from his mother was for the best.

They never had a good relationship. According to Jim, she has always seen him as the ghost of his father and not his own person. She was never on earth long enough to get to know him. She ran back into the stars the moment she could. She couldn't love Jim so he acted out and downplayed his intelligence. She couldn't love Frank so he drank himself into the bottle and took it out on his nephews. She could never love Sam because he had his father's name, so he ran away.

She never cared enough to come back to earth, not when Frank almost died of alcohol poisoning, not when Jim drove his dad's car over a cliff, and not when Sam left for good. She spent most of her time trying to avoid ghosts and in doing that she missed out on the life going on around her.

The one time she cared enough to get angry was when Jim brought home a boyfriend. They haven't spoken since that unfortunate incident, until tonight.

Since the repairs were going well, they decided to go out to one of the local restaurants. Jim invited Dr. McCoy to come along, but he declined. This meant she was tagging along as the third wheel again.

It wasn't the first time they invited someone else to join them for a meal or some other recreational activity. Ever since Brittany was reassigned to the OBAMA, they've been inviting random crew members to eat lunch with them. She seriously didn't believe there story about this being an attempt to improve crew morel. Although she did have to give them kudos for being able to keep their hands off of each other during these activities.

She wasn't sure if Spock and Jim were trying to find her more friends or get her safely in another romantic relationship before they finally admit to their selves that they were dating. Friends were ok, but there was no way she was ever dating a fellow member of the crew again. It was a small miracle that they were able to become friends after everything that happened. If this occurred with anybody else, there probably would have been bloodshed on the bridge.

She was also not looking for a long-term relationship. She didn't want to get married. After what happened with Spock, long-term dating didn't seem very practical when she never wanted to move beyond that. Much to her step moms disappointment she wasn't planning on having kids unless there was an accident.

After nearly 300 years and an influx of alien technology, the pill was almost perfect. She doubted that an accident would occur if she had the opportunity to engage in any activity that could get her pregnant.

She would be perfectly fine with the occasional random hook up on shore leave or the occasional fling with an ambassador's aid. They did come in the male variety occasionally. However, between her overprotective captain and her protective ex boyfriend she seriously doubted she was getting laid any time soon unless she gave in to Jim's threesome idea.

It is possible that Spock actually growled at a waiter who tried to give her his contact information. Although maybe Spock was growling because the waiter also brushed his hand against Jim's when he was handing him his entree. Either way, the scared waiter retreated back into the kitchen just in time to miss the showdown between mother and son.

She should have known something was wrong the moment Jim stopped joking around with her and Spock. Not that Vulcans joked. They were at a another retro theme restaurant called the MTV Club which is notorious for playing the music from earth's golden age of music videos.

Before everything fell apart Jim just made a joke about the song Ex Girlfriend originally sang by the group No Doubt being her new personal anthem. She was about to reply that it wasn't, because it wasn't going to kill her to see Spock with him, she saw Jim go completely rigid. The smile disappeared from his mouth and the light in his eyes became that fire that appeared when he was about to go into battle. Appropriately enough the song switched over to Family Portrait originally performed by P!nk.

Spock tried to get them out of there before a confrontation could occur. It was too late.

The altercation between mother and son was bitter. There were no congratulations for Jim saving billions. There was no praise for becoming the youngest captain in history nor was there any consideration for all the wonderful things that he as commander of Enterprise, accomplished. There was a reason why Starfleet was poaching personnel from the Enterprise to fill command positions on other ships.

No her icy words and reproach full stare focused on the man she thought Jim was. No matter how many good things Jim did the woman still saw him as that complete fuck up from Iowa who can never measure up to the impossible standard set by a man Jim never met. She couldn't see past the ghost of the past. She truly felt sorry for her because she missed out on knowing a truly great person.

The bitterest comments were reserved for Jim's relationship with Spock. If the situation wasn't so painful she would laugh at the irony. Even the absentee mom could see what was going on between those two. Yet they were still in denial land.

In the interest of keeping these reflections tasteful, she will not repeat any of the homophobic slurs that Winona Kirk used. She will admit she had the sudden urge to throw a piece of 20th century decorum at the woman's head.

The words from Winona were so hurtful, Spock looked ready to pounce. His eyebrows were raised as far as possible. His eyes were dark, as if he was going into battle. One hand was clenched in anger the other one was being trapped by Jim.

For months now she's been convinced that they can communicate without words. Originally she thought it was just body language. Jim could read the movements of Spock's eyebrows as well as she could. Spock could understand Jim's expressions as easily as she could understand Klingon. Recently she did some research on Vulcan touch telepathy. The information was quite scarce, but she did find a very interesting research paper from T'Pay.

She already knew it was possible for emotions to be transmitted through touch. She used this knowledge a few months ago to initiate their breakup. From the research paper it turns out that words could be transmitted if the connection is deep enough with truly compatible minds. If a formal bond existed, the two parties involved could communicate without words without touching.

She felt like that was happening right in front of her. She couldn't hear what was being said, but body language alone told her enough. Spock was going into protective mode. He wouldn't let a woman who was only Jim's mother because of DNA heard him like this. Just as it seemed that Spock was going too verbally pounds on the woman Jim stopped him.

"I need to take care of this myself." As he said the words the song changed to Numb by Linkin Park. The lyrics were eerily appropriate.

She knew Spock wanted to protect Jim from this confrontation, but he did as asked. He squeezed Jim's hand before he let go. Anyone familiar with Vulcan anatomy knows that gesture was just as intense as any kiss on the lips.

"I'm not dad. I may look almost exactly like him but I am not him. I never was nor do I want to be. I've done a whole lot of good things that you don't see. You were never around long enough to see anything in me beyond the ghost of a dead man. I will never be what you want me to be. Yes mom I am sleeping with my first officer. Yes, I Care about him. No I don't give a fuck what you think. No, I don't care what Starfleet thinks. From what I understand, they are actually okay with it. Then again, I have more respect for Admiral Pike's opinion then yours." The anger seemed to drain from his body as he physically walked away.

What happened next was completely shocking to her. Other than the transporter room incident, Spock never kissed her or anyone else in public let alone initiate such a kiss. Within seconds Spock's lips were on Jim's in a planet shattering "I think they're going to go at it in the middle of the restaurant" kiss.

Honestly, she wasn't expecting to see it so soon. Not in front of her anyway. They could explain away the Vulcan kisses and blow jobs by feigning ignorance or Jim claiming he forgot about the sensitivity of Vulcan hands. They couldn't deny this, especially when she took pictures.

When they got back to the ship she was honestly expecting them to claim that the whole thing was a show for his mom. What she got was a shocking apology for her finding out that way. Of course, they did not admit that they were in love with each other.

Instead she got a 15 minute explanation on how it was perfectly logical for them to engage in various sexual activities with each other even though they were still "just friends". How on earth or any other planet for that matter, do they honestly expect her to believe that they were just friends when they were sleeping with each other? On a positive note, confessing that they were in a physical relationship was the first step out of denial land.

Maybe if she didn't see the way they were around each other she could believe the "friends with benefits" thing. Maybe if she didn't see how protective Spock was of Jim she could believe it. Maybe she could believe it if she didn't see the way they looked at each other when they didn't think the other was looking. They can tell each other that it's just sex, but she knows it is lovemaking. These two men bring delusional to a whole new level.

She honestly doesn't have the energy to argue with them. If they want to believe that you can be just friends with someone you are having sex with, that's fine. It wouldn't help any way to argue. They are not going to come out of their happy delusion unless they were brought out kicking and screaming. She just sincerely hoped that Spock being transferred to another ship will not be there wakeup call.


	9. Sign 9: I Will Die For You

Thank you to everyone who read or reviewed the last chapter. Due to the complicated nature of the last two chapters in the companion story, I suggest reading those before reading this chapter.

After researching the concept of Pon farr in Star Trek cannon, I have come to the conclusion that the various writers of the franchise have changed the concept several times to fit their own creative needs over the years. The inconsistencies in Pon farr cannon speak for themselves. I intend to carry on that longstanding tradition of making pon farr whatever I need it to be. In my version pon farr can occur outside the seven year cycle due to mitigating circumstances, such as the destruction of an entire planet.

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Sign Nine: I Will Die For You

It is said that the greatest gift you can give anybody is your life in exchange for their life. A few days ago Captain Evelyn Thompson made this ultimate sacrificed to protect her husband and daughter. (Unfortunately, this sacrifice has severely complicated things and brought about Jim's worst fear of Spock being transferred to another ship. For all the details check out her other rant on stubborn men who don't make their love known until their love is about to be transferred to another ship.)

The situation between Spock and Jim is no different. The most obvious sign that Spock is completely in love with Jim is his willingness to do anything to protect him. It's part of the job description for a first officer to protect his or her captain. When it comes to Jim, Spock has always gone above and beyond what is required of a first officer.

In these reflections she is already mentioned some of the more court martial worldly things that Spock has done to protect Jim. These include nerve pinching a diplomat who tried to touch Jim inappropriately or getting into a fist fight with the diplomatic aid to his future counterpart.

Usually this type of behavior did not land Spock in sickbay. (Although the incident during the invasion of the Vulcans did result in Spock being forced to spend time with various members of Dr. McCoy's staff.)

She is referring to incidents such as the one that occur during their first month in space where Spock stepped in front of Jim when they were shooting at him. The shooter missed his heart but Spock still spent a day in sickbay unconscious.

When he returns to consciousness she asked him why he stepped in front of the weapon. When he told her it was his duty to protect his captain at all cost she believed him. Of course, this is probably win her sanity project of these rants was born. It was only later when she started to notice other things like Jim crashing all their lunches or the way he looks at Jim when he doesn't think she's paying attention that she truly understands the true nature of Spock's actions.

It took a repeat of those actions several months later after the official end of her relationship with Spock for her to understand his true motivations completely. Spock would do anything to protect Jim, even if it meant his own death.

She is already stated that on earth and other planets it is believed that there's no greater way to show love then to be willing to give your life so that someone else may live. Captain Thompson sacrificed is an example of that. That sentiment seems to get lost in Starfleet. It is easy to become desensitized to the true importance of life when you are surrounded by death. Those who survived Nero are very aware of this. Every person on the ship is willing to give their life to protect the Federation. Every person on the ship is willing to give their life to protect their captain.

However, she knows that Spock doesn't jump in front of the captain when he is in harm's way just because he is his captain. Spock does stupid things that could get himself killed for Jim. So far this year alone Spock has ended up in sickbay six times for doing something completely illogical to keep Jim from being killed.

Her personal favorite was when Spock ate something that he was unknowingly highly allergic to just so Jim wouldn't have an allergic reaction or offend the locals that they were meeting with. Vulcans may not have food allergies, but Spock does.

However Spock's most recent self sacrificing behavior is beyond illogical, it could be deadly. That is why she is standing outside his door begging him to let her or Jim in.

Honestly they should have noticed something was wrong weeks ago when Spock almost yelled at somebody for hitting on him. He snapped at her yesterday when she tried to talk to him about the transfer. He did not even yell at her when their relationship was completely disintegrating. That alone should have told her something was really wrong.

She, Dr. McCoy, and Jim were all very aware of the symptoms to look for. Spock actually talked to Jim about it himself. She was already informed by the ambassador months ago. The doctor was given information by Spock's father because many have been experiencing irregular pon farr cycles in the last 12 months. Yet they didn't see this coming.

Maybe the symptoms were less pronounced because up until a week ago Jim and Spock were together every single night. According to a certain file that was included in the information secretly provided to her by T'Pay about telepathic bonds, regular sexual activity during the early stages can lessen the severity of symptoms. She contacted T'Pay a few days ago after she became convinced they were bonded.

(T'Pay doesn't believe in the cultural taboos associated with Pon farr. This is probably why she moved to earth as soon as she could. Due to the type of people who survived the destruction of Vulcan there was a major cultural shift taking place in the colonies.)

Unfortunately a week ago after a mission that involve the entire ship finding out officially that their two most senior commanding officers were sleeping together Spock demanded some distance in order to quell the rumors. (See sign nine of other rant.)

Now she is wondering in light of recent circumstances if that was just an excuse. She could see an overprotective Spock pushing Jim away because he's afraid that he is going to hurt him during pon farr. This seems like something he would do.

She was so stupid just to assume he was acting angry (for him) because he found out about the surprise the Admiralty was planning when they reached earth in a few days. Finding out that you had no choice but to leave your boyfriend and take over your own ship would make anybody want to throw things.

In addition, the little girl that he threw a bowl of soup at yesterday was just annoying. She personally wanted to smack the girl for still not having any respect for other people's relationships. This girl has been trying to get into Spock's pants since the beginning of the mission when she and Spock were still dating. She deserved it.

Both she and Jim would have let it go if it wasn't for Spock's unusual behavior this morning. A few hours earlier Jim went to Spock's quarters to get him to help research a way to keep him on the ship. Spock for the first time ever said he wasn't feeling well and would help them after shift.

Both became even more worried when Spock didn't show up for shift. Spock has never missed a shift unless he was unconscious or being held against his will in sickbay. He didn't exactly not just show up, instead he sent a text message to Jim. Considering Spock hates sending text messages she assumed that verbal communication would have gave away Spock's true condition.

Extreme overprotective boyfriend Jim became instantly worried and insisted Spock see the doctor Immediately. Spock refused and Jim got even more worried. This text message conversation lasted a good 15 minutes before he dragged her into it. He was so worried that he sent her to check up on Spock.

Since she was his friend, Jim thought it would be more likely that Spock would tell her what was going on. Instead he slammed the door in her face metaphorically speaking. He has never slammed the door in her face before even when they were fighting a lot before she accepted the inevitable that they were not supposed to be together. That's when she started to really become worried. Up until this point she just assume his irritation was caused by the fact he was being forced to go to another ship away from Jim.

She tried to get Spock to talk to her about this again. This was really difficult when he refused to open the door. After 15 minutes she gave up on trying to reason and resorted to using the entry code that he gave her when they were dating. She was not that surprise that he changed the code after the breakup. What surprised her was the code Jim gave her didn't work either. After that attempt failed she called Jim down to help her break into his boyfriend's quarters.

They both became even more worried when the captain's override code did not work. At this point they both realize that Spock was purposely keeping her and Jim out of the room. Jim was so desperate at that point he used Bones' medical override code to break into the room. She could feel Jim began to panic when that code didn't work.

"Fuck, he's doing this on purpose. If I didn't love him, I would kill him." Jim's said as he slid down the wall to the floor.

"He locks himself in his quarters for some crazy reason and you choose this time to finally admit to being in love with him publicly. You have the worst timing ever." Earlier that morning they finally had a breakthrough after an extreme period of denial. Jim finally realized that he really did love Spock. It only took a couple of months for the two to stop lying about being just friends. (See sign 10 of other rant.)

"I am sorry I chose to finally say the words out loud when my boyfriend is acting crazy. I'm a little worried that said boyfriend is acting crazy, because Vulcans don't go crazy." He said practically yelling.

"Except for once every seven years." She said it as a joke to break the tension, but apparently her genius captain figured out the real reason why his boyfriend was acting this way. He was suddenly standing again as he banged on the door.

"You will open this door right now. That is an order. If you just locked yourself in your quarters to die alone because you are afraid to have sex with me, I'm going to kill you. How can this be any worse than normal sex for us? We broke a chair in the conference room once. I will not lose you." Although Spock probably couldn't hear the captain's angry tirade the three ensigns walking down the hall did.

"Did you realize that you just confirmed the conference room rumors?"

"I really don't care. The whole ship knows any way at this point thanks to lieutenant cupcake."

"I think everybody knew before then." She said placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Maybe it is not that bad. Maybe we are just overreacting. Maybe there is some other reason why Spock has locked himself in his room."

Even she could tell that she was lying to him. There is no other logical explanation for Spock's illogical behavior. Spock hasn't been on a mission since they got back from getting that planet to join the federation which involved her negotiating a peace treaty and the two of them enjoying each other's company for the sake of the ceremony. He hasn't been exposed to any unusual compounds in the last week. It couldn't be that unless this was a delayed reaction.

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Both she and Jim are now sitting down on the floor again and she had one arm around him. She's never seen him this upset before including this morning during their heart to heart when he was almost crying. (See other rant)

"Maybe he's trying some other technique to alleviate the symptoms. "Grandpa Spock" told me there were other ways to alleviate pon farr. I think this is just the third cycle for Spock. The fourth is usually the worse."She said comforting him.

"You've slept with him before. Do you really think meditation is going to satisfy his normal bedroom needs, let alone those brought about by a biological need for sex?"

"Good point."

"I don't know why he's doing this."

"He's extremely over protective of you."

"Being suicidal is a sign of protective behavior?"

"For him, yes. It's another one of the signs that he is completely in love with you."

"I doubt that. If he really loved me he wouldn't be acting this stupid."

"You do remember him knocking out a diplomat for you?" She asked as she pulled up another file on her PADD and handed it to him. She showed him his list a few hours earlier

"10 Signs Your Boyfriend is in Love with Your Captain. Is this your other sanity project?"

"Essentially yes, but I never got around to re titling it after the breakup. I started this one first. So far I have nine signs that prove he is completely in love with you. Sign number nine is that he would die for you. His frequent visits to sick bay prove that point. We both know he does it for you, not your position. Although after this morning's conversation, I think you would do the same for him."

"You're right about that. Although he clearly didn't know he was allergic to that dish at that reception. What are the other signs since apparently you know both of us better than we know ourselves?" He said this sarcastically.

"Sign number eight is he cares about you to the point of doing stupid things like getting Brittany to hack into the computer files to destroy any evidence of you hitting a diplomatic aid."

"I thought she did that on her own."

"No she didn't. It was her punishment for the conference room thing. Signs seven is that he's jealous of everyone including himself."

"I didn't realize Vulcans did jealousy until I saw him get in an argument with himself. I did enjoy the end results."

"I'm sure you did. Sign six is that he does all sorts of illogical things just for you like eat chocolate. For example he lets you do very inappropriate thing to him in public by Vulcan standards such as sucking on his fingers when children are present."

"Didn't we talk about that already today? When it comes to sex Spock behaves more like a human then a Vulcan. That's why I don't understand why he's freaking out right now. I said I would do this with him."

"It's Spock. I think this is just another illogical thing that he does to protect you. He does not want to hurt you or worse."

"I don't want him to." He said quietly to her. "What are the other signs that he's in love with me?"

"He and you are completely compatible in a way that me and him never were. You both wanted the modified white picket fence dream in space. You both want children and to be married someday. I never wanted that. My stepmom is going to be pissed when she never gets grandkids."

"That's not going to work. You are just going to have to be our surrogate mother. That way you can have children but not raise them. You can be a good aunt instead."

"That is something to think about when we're not in the middle of a crisis. You know more about pon farr then I do, because Spock told you all about it. He trusts you with secrets that he never trusted me with."

"We have to talk about something during chess."

"The fact that he was willing to teach you how to play is another sign. He refused to teach me how to play chess but he spent hours teaching you. He also let you get away with stalling your paperwork just so you and he could spend time together."

"I did not stall paperwork. I also defended that point earlier to you."

"I still don't believe you. You also crashed all of our lunches and he let you. The first thing I noticed that told me he was in love with you was the fact you can elicit an emotional response from him. I think this qualifies as unemotional response. There's no logic behind locking yourself in your quarters. "

"That's an understatement. I'm tired of waiting for him to get logical again. I'm not going to let my boyfriend get away with this. Does this PADD contain the program you used to break into my room this morning?" Before she could answer the door behind them open.

"That won't be necessary." Spock said as he went to kiss Jim. There was a lot of screaming on Jim's part about Spock being a complete idiot for locking him out. There was also a lot of "I love you" as articles of clothing started to disappear before she could get out of the way. She also heard the word T'hy'la used a lot. The last thing she heard before the door closed was she was acting captain.

That meant she was responsible for covering this up. That was so mean.

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Three days later after copious amounts of sex that she doesn't want to know the details about, Spock finally tells her why he opened the door. He tells her that her logic was sound. It turns out he was listening to their entire conversation in the hallway. She wonders if it is insubordination to smack your ex boyfriend for being a complete idiot.


	10. Sign 10: Forever

This is the last chapter of 10 signs the Spock edition. Do not worry there will be an epilogue and I am already working on new projects in the Star Trek universe including _Starfleet Family Values_ and a story based on the TLC song Creep.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Star Track. I am just the latest person to reinterpret the material originally created by Gene Roddenberry. Unfortunately, I am not being paid to do it.

All songs used in this chapter are used without permission. All celebrities mentioned in this chapter are depicted in a completely fictitious way.

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Sign 10: Forever

When she and Spock were together the concept of forever never really came up. They never talked about Spock's white picket fence dream. They never talked about getting married or even having children. Maybe deep down she knew that they couldn't have forever. He was most likely going to outlive her by a century anyway. During the course of their relationship, they concentrated on the now and that was fine with her. She just assumed he was not looking for forever either.

A year later, she knows better. They never talked about forever, because he did not want forever with her. Truth be told, she did not want forever with him either. She really did not want forever with anyone. She was not a white picket fence person. The thought of being pregnant or becoming a mom terrified her. The only thing she would ever be married to was Starfleet. (The fact that a certain captain of hers talked her into retraining for command meant she would be married to Starfleet for better or worse for a very long time.)

It was obvious to her that Spock wanted forever with Jim. Before they were forced out of denial by Pon Farr and the transfer, there were little things that told her he was planning to be with Jim for a very long time. For example, on his personal PADD Spock had all sorts of files on alternative conception techniques for same sex couples and Interspecies couples. Before taking three days out of their very busy research schedule to have copious amounts of sex for medical reasons, Spock had already pulled almost every single piece of information he could think of that would help him find a way to stay on the ship with Jim. They did not really need the files on tendon assignments that Admiral Pike sent because Spock already pulled up that information.

The fact that Spock wanted to stay on the ship told her that Spock truly wanted forever with Jim. Spock actually assigned her to a different ship when they were dating just to avoid the allusion of favoritism. With Jim by his side, they took on the Admiralty just so he could win the right to stay with Jim. Their fight was successful.

It turned out the joining ceremony was a legally binding marriage under Starfleet regulations and Federation law. Also engaging in the fertility rites after the fake wedding reception also counted as a marriage under Starfleet regulations and Federation law. Although the first marriage to occur without anybody knowing about it was the unintentional marriage bond that formed between the two early on in the mission. Let us just say she was not very happy to find out her ex boyfriend may have been married by Vulcan standards to someone else during their actual relationship.

The fact that they were even able to form a mental bond without even trying was another sign that they were going after forever. Vulcan bonds do not happen accidentally unless the two individuals involved have very compatible minds. An accidental bonding would have never happened between her and Spock. She and Spock were nowhere near as mentally compatible as Jim and Spock.

Now a day after the infamous showdown with the Admiralty, they were back on the ship essentially hiding from reporters. She knew no matter what, the press would be following the three of them around today. She was sure somebody wanted a good shot of her or someone else crying over the graves of their friends that died last year.

At least one member of the press core knew what a Vulcan make out session looked like and now Jim and Spock were the hot story of the moment. The two were bombarded with questions about their secret marriage the moment they stepped out of the hotel for the remembrance ceremony at Starfleet headquarters.

She personally believed one of the Admirals wanting to keep everybody distracted from the messy situation caused by certain people in power abusing their power decided to use Jim and Spock's marriage as a diversionary tactic. Their marriage was not even public record on earth yet, but somehow the press managed to get a hold of the marriage license. (To find out how really messy Starfleet internal politics are check out her final reflection on Jim's love for Spock.)

Unfortunately, touch telepaths do not handle the press very well. They do not really handle any situation well when they are crowded by people trying to touch him. To keep Spock from accidentally nerve pinching a reporter, Jim and Spock decided to go back to the ship as soon as they could. After a male reporter followed her into the bathroom at a restaurant this afternoon, she decided to join them.

They were currently packing up Spock's things in his quarters for him to move in with Jim. It was not as if they needed to pack up Spock's things right now (thankfully). It was not as if they were packing Spock up to go to the OBAMA. It was a distraction if nothing else. If they stayed busy, they would not have to think about today being the one-year anniversary of the destruction of Vulcan.

Spock's room was completely trashed after the Pon Farr activities so it was decided that today he would move into Jim's quarters temporarily until Spock's room was converted into a dual occupancy unit. During the forced sex marathon, somehow they even managed to break the bathroom door. She still was not brave enough to ask how that happened.

"So how upset is your father that we got married without him?" Jim asked Spock as he packed up the contents of Spock's closet. She was shocked at how many gold uniform tops and blue jeans in Jim size managed to find their way into Spock's closet. There were lots of things of Jim's all over Spock's quarters. She knew the old fashion board games were Jim's. There were all sorts of little mementos and gifts picked up on various missions that she knew came from Jim all around the place. Several of these things were currently scattered on the floor.

The same could be said for Jim's quarters already. She already knew there were lots of blue science tops and Vulcan meditation robes in his closet. Last week she saw a Vulcan meditation mat and lamp sitting in Jim's room.

When she and Spock broke up, she was shocked to learn that the only thing she had in his quarters of hers was a toothbrush. The same could be said for him. When they were packing up his apartment before beginning the mission almost a year ago, the only things of hers in his apartment were a toothbrush and an extra set of clothing.

"My father is not upset. Vulcans do not get upset." Jim rolled his eyes at that comment. She was surprised he did not mention what happened on this day last year. That in itself proved that Vulcans do get upset.

"He would be the only one. Pike is pissed off, but you already know that. He was actually looking forward to coming to the wedding. He said he wanted to do the father of the groom speech. Bones was upset too."

"The doctor is mostly angry because he lost his wager relating to when we would marry. He is also worried that you will not be able to remember our wedding anniversary since we have more than one day to commemorate."

"It was his fault for thinking I would only marry you because you went into heat. As for the wedding date, that is what PADDs with reminders software are for. Because I don't celebrate my birthday and neither do you, we will only have to remember the three wedding anniversaries. This way I get more gifts.

"It is not the doctor's fault. Most Vulcan marriages do occur shortly before Pon Farr. This was in the information my father gave him. If I had stayed engaged to T'Pring I most likely would not have married her until my fourth Pon Farr." She was surprised that they were talking about this at all in front of her. From what she understands, Pon Farr is a very taboo subject in Vulcan culture.

"How would that have worked? This room was completely trashed and it was only your third cycle." She said picking up a broken knickknack from the floor to prove her point. She hoped it was something that was replaceable. By the amount of damage to the room and Jim earlier this week, she knew things were very intense.

"If I was not already accustomed to certain activities, meditation would have been an acceptable alternative for the third cycle."

"What you're saying is you enjoy sex too much for meditation to do any good.

"Precisely,"

"I'm just that good." Jim said with a cocky smile as he kissed his husband. She threw a pillow at him. Maybe it was better when they were in denial. She did not have to listen to Jim brag about his sexual prowess with her ex.

The rest of the evening was spent with Jim making jokes about turning his room into a nursery once the renovations were completed and trying to talk her into being there surrogate mother. Instead of diverting Jim's attention, Spock actually thought the nursery suggestion was logical, but felt it was best that they look into adoption right now. Later on, they could look into creating their own biological child. Spock wanting to have children with Jim was definitely a sign of his love for Jim and his desire to stay with Jim always.

When she got back to her room that night, she took out her PADD and finally entered the final sign.

Sign 10: Spock wants to spend forever with Jim.

**

* * *

**

Three months later

Spock's father was not upset about his only child getting married without telling him. He was just severely disappointed. He did not accept the excuse that they did not know they were getting married. He very much wanted to be there for his son's wedding. To smooth everything over Jim actually suggested that they get married for a fourth time in an actual Vulcan ceremony.

They were presented with the perfect opportunity to do such a ceremony a few weeks later. They were currently stationed at the new Vulcan colony to help with the rebuilding efforts for two months. She personally think somebody pulled some strings to make up for what happened with the almost transfer. Their new admiral was not saying anything.

After the scandal that occurred three months ago, there were major shakeups at Starfleet. Four Admirals were fired and three of the four were facing criminal charges including conspiracy to commit murder. The situation is too complicated to rehash right now but essentially somebody hated Jim so much that he purposely set things up for Jim to fail so badly on a mission that he would lose his commission or possibly end up dead. Instead, Captain Thompson was the one who ended up in a body bag. Because he was one of the few that spoke up about what was going on Admiral Pike was promoted. To smooth things over with Captain Thompson's widow, he is their new Admiral.

It really didn't matter if their current assignment was political; it gave the two plenty of time to put together a real wedding that the father of the groom was paying for. Normally Vulcan weddings were quiet affairs. The wedding that took place between Sarek and T'Pay a few weeks ago only had a few guessed besides her, Jim, and Spock. T'Pay believed Sarek was doing this to make up for years of ignoring Spock because he decided to join Starfleet.

Today was the day of the big ceremony. She just finished helping Jim put on his Vulcan robes and now she was getting ready to take her place beside Spock before the ceremony. Okay actually she was laughing at Jim as he tried to put his robe over the suit she was forcing him to wear. She was able to get absolutely wonderful pictures to show at the reception of Jim practically falling down on his ass when trying to get ready. She also gave Jim the traditional "if you hurt my friend, I will kick your ass" speech.

As she walked down the hall of the very young building where the wedding was taking place, she ran into the older version of her friend. Although they have talked from time to time, she has not seen him in person since Jim got in a fight with his aid during the "invasion of the Vulcans".

"I should have known you would be on the guest list. I guess you are probably feeling some weird sense of Déjà vu. So how does this compare to the ceremony the first time around?" As soon as she asked the question, his face made the same expression that her Spock did when he was sad about something. The last time she saw this expression was when his mother died.

"I wish that were the case." She could almost detect sorrow in his tone. "You are under many misconceptions about my relationship with the Jim of my time line. We were never married." That statement completely shocked her.

"I thought you and him were…" She trailed off not even able to finish the question.

"He was my T'hy'la. I loved him very much and always will. You were right all along; our friendship did have a sexual component. However, things were much more complicated in my time line. My Jim was not as free is your Jim. Then again, my counterpart is more comfortable with parts of himself then I was at his age. In my time line, Starfleet did not enact any changes similar to the Thompson amendments until years after we were no longer on active duty. I did not want to do anything that would harm his career or his relationship with his family."

"Let me guess, Winona was a homophobic bitch in both dimensions?" Spock's lack of answer told her everything she needed to know.

"I was under the impression that we would always have more time. We could be together completely once he was truly retired. I let myself be satisfied with a public friendship and private liaisons. For years, I stood back and watch him have relationships with women that did not mean anything to him. It did not matter because I knew he would always come back to me. Then one day he did not come back. He never knew the truth depth of my feelings. I have never regretted anything as much as I regret that decision."

"He left you for someone else?" This question was hard for her to ask. The only thing that would keep this dimensions Jim away from Spock is death itself and even that was questionable. This is Jim Kirk were talking about.

"I wish that were the case. It would have been easier if he left me willingly for another woman. At least then I would still have our friendship." His expression told her what really happen. Her earlier assumption was right.

"I'm sorry," it was the only thing she could say. She wanted to hug him but she doubted he would let her.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. What is done is done. The past cannot be changed, only the present. We did not have this version of you dragging us kicking and screaming out of our denial. For all the horrible things in this timeline, many things are better. For example, your counterpart never considered retraining for command even though she probably would have made a fine captain."

"My grandmother always said there was a predetermined amount of good and evil in the galaxy. For every act of evil, there must be an act of goodness to balance it out. Maybe this is the universe is way of making up for everything."

"I fine your logic sound."

* * *

She must admit that the Vulcan ceremony was just as beautiful as the joining ceremony four months ago. Although she personally believes Jim went with the Vulcan ceremony because it was significantly shorter than any earth wedding ceremony she could think of.

Half the crew in attendance was completely shocked to see her standing by Spock side during the ceremony. She was sure half of them were taking bets on when she would start crying into her champagne or punch out Jim. She will admit that she did cry a few tears but most of those were happy tears, except for the few she shed for "Grandpa Spock" and the Jim that never knew how much he really loved him.

Although they went with a Vulcan wedding ceremony, they decided to have an earth style reception. She was currently listening to Dr. McCoy give the best man toast.

"Honestly I never thought this day would come, especially back at the academy when I used to have to chase some guy or girl out of our dorm room every other night. There was this one time with these fraternal twins…

"They do not need to hear about that." Jim said cutting off his best friend besides his husband and her.

"I would actually like to hear this story." Spock said so low enough that only she and Jim could hear.

"I'll tell you later. Can we please get on with this? Otherwise sick bay will have an influx of male nurses and physicians assistants."

"Fine you will not let me have any fun. I never thought you would be the type of guy who would get married to anyone, let alone to a guy who tried to kill you after knowing you for less than 48 hours. I should have known something was going on back then. It takes everyone else at least a week to want to kill you." Everyone started laughing at that.

"Yet somehow you manage to end up married to the guy. Not that you actually knew what you were doing at the time, because you were in complete denial about being in love with the damn computer. As most of you out there know this is actually there forth wedding. Although I wonder if the other three count because they were not aware, they were getting married. I'm not sure if having four different wedding anniversaries is a good thing or a bad thing. However, this raises a very interesting question; how many times can you accidentally get married and still are allowed to call yourself a genius?" She is sure somebody got PADD footage of Jim flipping Bones off when he said that.

"Love you too, but in a platonic way. I wish you all the luck in the world. If you do something stupid Jim, don't come to me. I'm a doctor Jim, not a marriage counselor."

Traditionally as the other best person/maid of honor, she would follow Bones, but because they talked her into singing the song for the first dance, she would be going last. Spock's father gave a wonderful speech about the true meaning of love and how much Amanda would have loved to have Jim as her son in law. That toast had every non-Vulcan in the room crying. Admiral Pike stood in for the other father of the groom sharing more crazy stories about Jim and Spock including the nerve pinch diplomacy incident and the Kobayashi maru story. Of course, he added in the part that no one else knew about. Apparently, the whole thing was to get the attention of a very hot professor that Jim had a crush on. Before he even knew Spock's name he thought he was hot. Honestly how did they not see this coming?

Although Frank was there, they decided it was best to keep him away from any activity involving alcohol including the toast. No one wanted him to fall off the wagon. Winona would not have been there even if she were willing to come. After their relationship became public knowledge, Winona was on every tabloid news program in the galaxy bad mouthing her son. No one wanted her negativity ruining this happy day and therefore she was not on the guest list.

Spock being his normal reserve Vulcan self decided to read an old poem in Vulcan about the true nature of love. Jim was the one who gave another speech that had everybody crying again. Basically, he adapted her list of the 10 signs that he was in love with Spock for his speech. Then it was her turn.

"I know it's not traditional for the ex girlfriend of the groom to be in the wedding party, but when have we ever been about tradition. I just don't have the energy to throw things or cry into my glass of champagne." She said breaking the ice as she stepped on the stage with the band behind her. "You two are my two closest friends despite everything. I'm truly happy that you two have found each other." She was almost sure she saw a tear of happiness coming from Jim.

"Spock, I knew you were in love with Jim before you had any clue of what was going on. For all of you who don't know, at least one of those wedding ceremonies occurred when Spock was technically dating me." She heard Bones and Admiral Pike laugh at the main table.

"I'm not mad at you anymore. I realized a long time ago that you and I would not have forever. You and Jim will be forever. I just needed to punch you once to get the anger out of my system." Everyone in the audience laughed when she said that.

"You think she's joking? She really did punch him when she found out. We love you anyway." Jim shouted from the dance floor.

"Her reaction was perfectly logical under the circumstances."

"Spock save the logical explanation for later. Let her continue so we can start the party part of this reception."

"I love you both even though there are days when I want to kill both of you. I'm standing up here because they asked me to sing the song for their first dance. Do you have any idea how hard it is to pick out a wedding song for a Vulcan? I think I spent weeks listening to practically every love song recorded in the last 300 years to find the perfect song that describes Spock's feelings for Jim. Yes, Spock does have feelings. I finally gave up and decided to go with the 21st century song Halo originally performed by the late earth Senator Beyoncé Knowles–Carter. I mostly chose this song for the opening lyrics. Spock promise me you won't say anything about how illogical angels and halos are. It is just a metaphor. Before I sing just let me say this to Jim, if you hurt him, I will kill you." The crowd started laughing again.

As the laughter died down she began to sing the opening lyrics, "Remember those walls I built? Well, baby they're tumbling down and they didn't even put up a fight. They didn't even make a sound."

The lyrics meant more than anyone in the audience really knew. He never really let her in. She was never his saving grace. As much as she tried, she could never be his light in the darkness. Jim was all these things. Jim was the one who finally broke down all those walls that Spock build to keep everyone away.

Everything she said in that speech was the truth. She was never forever. He was never her forever, but Jim was. Jim was the one that he would grow old with. Jim would be the one he would create a family with. Jim will be the one that Spock will share his life with. She was truly happy that Spock found forever in Jim. She wouldn't have it any other way.

The end

* * *

A/N: If you loved T'Pay in this story check out _Starfleet Family Values_ because I am using the same character in that story. After doing a story with Jim and Spock in denial for the majority of the story, I wanted to do something where they already know that they love each other.

The other project is my new Trek Pod series. Basically it is a series of unrelated short one shots based on songs found on my iPod. I did this last year with High School Musical and it was really fun because I got to try out lots of different plot lines. The first story will be based on the TLC song Creep called_ Consequences of the Down Low_.


	11. Epilogue: Jump

This is it everyone, the final chapter of 10 signs Spock edition. I would like to thank everyone who has reviewed this story or added it to their alerts. At the time of this post, 113 people have this story on alert and 56 individuals have added it to their favorites. I thank all of you for your support throughout this process.

In addition, I like to thank Vampirewine for reviewing this chapter. We are currently collaborating on a surprise based in this universe. More details will be available eventually.

The title for this chapter comes from the Madonna song of the same name.

**

* * *

**

Epilogue: Jump

It is amazing how much one can accumulate over what seems like such a short period of time. After 30 months on Enterprise her quarters seem to be filled with mementoes of missions that went right and certain missions that she will be trying to repress until retirement. (Particularly any mission where Jim and Spock got stoned on aphrodisiacs and she accidentally walked in on them having sex. Honestly, you'd be amazed how many times they've ran into random aliens that tried to force Jim and Spock to have sex. Much to Jim's disappointment they have not run into a polyandrous society that has forced a threesome.)

Over the last 30 months, this place has become her home. The first real home she has had in a very long time. It seems shocking that this occurred considering everything that happened. She realizes it could have easily gone the other way.

Most people don't even speak to their ex-boyfriend, let alone become his best friend. She has gotten very good at giving Spock advice when his husband is a complete idiot. Jim Kirk being Jim Kirk he can do some pretty stupid things. Fortunately, he hasn't done anything recently that could get him strangle in the not fun way.

She is unsure how it happened but the Enterprise became her home. It became the one place where she truly felt comfortable. It became the one place where she felt nurtured. Over the last 30 months this ship, but more importantly the people on the ship have become a home that she doesn't want to leave. However, she knows it is time for her to go.

19 months ago, she thought Spock would be the one that would be leaving. She thought her friend would be leaving her and his accidental husband behind. Instead, it would be her that would be leaving him and her other best friend.

As the first graduate of the command retraining program she will become the First Officer of Captain Jordan Jackson of the USS OBAMA. (Yes, that Jordan.) It turns out that Jim and Spock's mutual nerdy ex-boyfriend was actually a Lieutenant Commander at the time she convince Spock that she was much more deserving of his attention. Jordan was the Commander who was promoted to captain after the Admiralty realized they had no choice but to leave Spock on the Enterprise.

Brittany who is now Chief Communications Officer on the ship at the new record breaking age of 23 thought he was an incompetent ass that would drop dead if he didn't have a decent First Officer. He was not a risk taker. Unlike Jim, he did believe in no wins scenarios. She had her work cut out for her. Spock believed she would make an adequate First Officer to his ex and she trusted his judgment.

Jim thought it was funny that she would be working with Spock's other ex. That comment got him a pillow to the head. She personally wasn't looking forward to it because Jordan was nowhere near as gracious as her.

As she packed up her things, she realized how much things have changed since she stepped on Enterprise over 2 ½ years ago. She came on board as Spock's girlfriend who was still shell-shocked from losing all of her friends thanks to one very troubled individual. Before that battle she thought she would be lucky if she ever became a Chief Communications Officer before she turned 35. She did not expect to earn that position within a matter of days.

She leaves the ship happily single with two good friends and a sense of inner peace. She also leaves with the rank of Commander and will become the First Officer of the OBAMA. She is also on the fast track to being the youngest female Captain in Starfleet history. She still has six years to beat the late Captain Evelyn Thompson's record. Her husband Admiral Thompson is looking forward to that occurring.

During her first year on Enterprise, the biggest transition was the changes in her relationship with Spock. It surprises her how easy the transition from lover to friend really was. They were definitely better as friends then lovers. She had someone she could tell her deepest secrets to again and support her when things were falling apart like when her dad died in a car accident last year. With Jim's consent, he accompanied her to the funeral on Earth and stayed by her side the entire time. She seriously doubted she would have received the same emotional support if they were lovers.

She will admit that having an overprotective ex-boyfriend makes hooking up on shore leave with a random stranger very difficult. One time during shore leave, Spock started touching every guy that tried to buy her a drink. She later found out that he was vetting all of them to see if any of them were suitable candidates for her. It was kind of funny. It was his way of paying her back for setting him up with Jim.

19 months ago, she started the command retraining program. The hours were long and having Jim breathe down her neck every time she did something wrong was stressful. She had the urge to strangle him at least once a week. However, she knew in the long run that she would be a better commanding officer for it.

16 months ago, she started leading away missions on her own occasionally. Her absolute favorite away mission that she led, was when she had to rescue her Captain and his husband from a planet by dressing up as their goddess. She enjoyed having the locals throw rose like petals at her feet.

The next major transition was watching her two friends go from being single to married to being family men. Six months after the (real) wedding, Jim and Spock adopted two young girls who lost their parents during the destruction of Vulcan. T'Pong was shoved in an evacuation pod by her mother just minutes before the planet was destroyed. She was only four at the time. Amanda, who already had that name, was two when she lost both parents. They were serving on separate ships when they died in the ambush.

Both girls were doing well adjusting to life on a starship. T'Pong loves living on Enterprise in a very Vulcan way. She personally thinks that is because living on Enterprise is like living on a big science lab.

Spock is a great dad to his two daughters. He completely understands that they have very different needs. When they were together, Nyota could never picture him as a father. Yet the role truly suited him. His Vulcan patients came in handy when a then three year old Amanda created a picture of the entire Enterprise crew on the walls of their quarters.

Spock also become adequate at playing Barbies, various video games, and tea party. Although she is pretty sure he prefers teaching both girls how to play chess.

Fortunately, the Kirk girls were not alone on Enterprise. As part of the Kirk Amendments to the Starfleet personal policies involving family, all ships underwent renovations to allow family to lived together on the ships. Enterprise was retrofitted with classrooms and play areas. The Enterprise currently has 16 children living on the ship. This meant that the Kirk girls had other children their age on board.

These children included Dr. McCoy's now preteen daughter, who he won custody of after she almost died at some boarding school her mom sent her to. The doctor was a lot less grouchy now that his daughter was on board. She was sure Joanna and her favorites nieces were secretly conspiring to set the two of them up, but it didn't work.

She will admit that she had mixed feelings when she found out two months ago from now Admiral Rodriguez that she was chosen to be the new First Officer of the OBAMA. She didn't want to leave her two best friends behind. She didn't want to miss out on seeing her two favorite nieces grow up. She didn't want tell Jim or Spock about this because she knew that they would pressure her into taking the position for the sake of her career and for the good of Starfleet.

The only somewhat neutral friend she really had was "Grandpa Spock". She still calls him that as sort of a term of endearment. It's kind of funny when the Kirk girls call him that. Over the last 2 ½ years they've definitely become the best of friends. So much so that she took a two week vacation to new Vulcan for the sake of a certain biological imperative. Although pon far seems less intense once your partner makes it passed the century mark. Let's be honest, if you were in a must have sex or die situation wouldn't you rather sleep with a friend then a complete stranger? It made sense considering the love of his life was long gone.

"Congratulations on your promotion Nyota." The older version of her best friend said as soon as he popped up on the screen.

"How did you know?"

"I have my sources." He said seriously with what passes as a smirk for any Spock.

"Jim or Spock?"

"Actually it was Admiral Pike. I feel that there is no one else who is as deserving as you to receive this promotion."

"Don't celebrate just yet. I'm not sure if I'm going to take the position."

"Do you doubt your abilities?"

"No, it's just everything I will leave behind. Did my counterpart ever serve on a different ship?"

"At times she had different assignments. However, as I have said repeatedly, you are not her. She was not raise by a stepmother who instilled a spirit of determination and leadership in her."

"Sulu hates me because I've received a commission to be a First Officer before him."

"I am sure he would be. Let me give you the same advice I gave my counterpart several years ago when he was at a crossroads. Do what feels right. Just because you will be on a different ship does not mean that you will lose this family."

As much as it pains her to admit it, it felt right to move on. It felt right to take this commission. Although she also knew it was difficult. So difficult that two hour before she was scheduled to depart her room was still somewhat unpacked.

"I do not understand why you waited until the last moment to pack your things."

"It's a human thing. We procrastinate sometimes."

"Are you sure that your procrastination is not caused by a reluctance to leave? Are you sure you want to take this commission?"

"Shouldn't you have asked me that question when your husband was trying to talk me into the command retraining program?"

"You have a very logical point. Neither one of us thought you would be leaving so soon."

"You're good teacher. I know I'll be able to come to you whenever I need advice on how to be a good First Officer. "

"Of course, but I doubt you will need my help. You have always performed admirably."

"Trust me I'm going to need a lot of help. In a way, you're right. I don't want to leave. However, I know it's the right decision. It's kind of like when we broke up."

"How so?"

"Even though I knew it was for the best I was still afraid to do it. In the long run it was the best decision. You're now with the true love of your life. You are a wonderful father to your two daughters. Just as I knew then that it was the right decision for us to break Up, I know it's time for me to leave."

* * *

Saying goodbye to everyone was hard. Sulu was finally no longer jealous that she received a commission before him. He got over himself as soon as he found out that her future commanding officer would probably hate her instantly.

Saying goodbye to the girls was difficult. All three have a special place in her heart. The almost five year old Amanda was crying. Jim tried to stay the epitome of the perfect Captain, but she swore she saw him shed a tear. Just one, but it was there.

She took her time walking to the transporter room. She wanted to take in the sites of the ship one last time. She wanted to permanently enter every inch in her memory. Maybe someday she would be back. Maybe someday, when they finally talked Jim into becoming an Admiral, she will get to be the captain of this fine ship. The long walk to the transporter room was her own special goodbye. However, the hardest goodbye took place in the transporter room.

"I guess this is it." She said to Spock.

"It has been an honor to serve with you for these last 30.3 months. You performed your duty most efficiently."

"To think you almost assigned me to a different ship."

"That was a grievous error on my part."

"Yes it was. It worked out in the end. Make sure you keep your husband on his toes."

"I will endeavor to do so."

"I'm going to miss you." she said leaning over and kissing him goodbye on the forehead.

"I will miss you as well." It was the last thing she heard as she felt that tingle that signified the transporter was functioning. As she dematerialized she realized this was not the end it was merely a new beginning.

**The end.**

* * *

The epilogue for the other story will go a bit farther in time. This was originally how I was going to end the other story but it fit better for this one.


End file.
